A slightly odd, Myspace-themed dilemma for you

[DAS]

So there I am, having finished uni, wondering what my old mates from school are up to. After all, I'm missing the uni social life and getting fairly bored and irritated by my home group of mates who are, perhaps, the most boring, procrastinating, unfun, undaring group of people you could ever encounter. So there's me thinking I'll get in touch with a couple of my old schoolmates, perhaps catch up and maybe go back to the black and white days.

Meanwhile, away from all this thinking and a few months beforehand, I'm surfing around on the wonder that is Myspace. My age group in my postcode area is full to the brim of chavs (usually with children) and simpletons. Yet in the crowd of nohopers is a pretty girl. Click on the picture, and the profile shows someone who, I have come to conclude, is the only remotely intelligent human being in the area. She appears to be extremely thoughtful, has an impeccable taste in music and is generally great! So I send a couple of non-stalkerish messages etc and get a couple back and that sort of peters out.

I would imagine she thinks I'm a Myspace stalker.

Fast forward to today. Just out of interest I look up her profile again. And a new picture in her gallery shows, yes, you've guessed it, her with not one, not two, but five of my old schoolmates.

Firstly, do you think this is either some incredible sign of fate, or a rub-in-your-face-kind-of-sign of "ha ha!"?

Secondly, how would it look if I did eventually meet up with some old pals, find her in the group, and then had to explain the fact that I have met up with my old mates again completely out of the blue shortly after her photograph appears? See what my problem is now?

Thirdly - and this is just a brief insight into my overly deep and cynical way of thinking here, so it's probably best to ignore this one completely - how likely is it that one of said old mates found out I had messaged her and the picture was put up as a result?

David, it's over to you.

[Gavin Scott]

That's the odd thing about meeting people online and then running onto them in the flesh. It's a very peculiar dynamic, quite unlike any other. I shall illustrate:

I met a straight mate in a gay bar tonight (he's good like that) for a few pints. As I looked across the room I saw an attractive guy looking back at me. With Scotland's anti-smoking laws, I happened to run into him outside while I puffed on a ciggy.

Turns out I had chatted to him online a couple of weeks ago whilst drunk. Not only that, I had sent him private pictures which could best be described as smutty. I felt a little uncomfortable at the realisation and, frankly, felt exposed and embarrassed.

Anyhoo, he spent a great deal of time telling me my pictures hadn't done me justice, and then kissed me (in the street) for what felt like an eternity. A very pleasant eternity.

Meeting him on Friday.

You're a good looking guy, Dan, and from what I see you are bright and funny.

I doubt you have anything to worry about.

[all new Phil]

You mean you didn't go home and have bumsex immediately? How un-stereotypical of you, Gavin, I AM ashamed.

I'll reiterate how embarassing it can be inadvertently meeting someone you've chatted to online. I used to chat to some guy, didn't hear from him in a while, then low and behold he had got a job at the same place as me. First time I saw him, I was so gobsmacked my keys flew out of my hand and onto the floor, and I had to pick them up dead embarassed, like.

Became really good mates with him though, despite the initial embarassment. So much so that within weeks, we'd both gotten ourselves very drunk and, erm, you know the rest.

[Gavin Scott]

You mean you didn't go home and have bumsex immediately? How un-stereotypical of you, Gavin, I AM ashamed.

I woke up this morning to a phone message from him saying something about love, and then backtracking out of embarrassment. He was a wee bit drunk too. We'll see how he feels on Friday.

I think I'm easier to love when I'm not actually there.

But anyway - this thread is about DAS's insecurity. You can read all about mine (Volumes I - XXXIV) in my diary collection.

[Lorns]

Good god this is difficult to put into words. I'll try and make it simple.

Message again and explain in message that..

You joined myspace to look for old friends. Pretty much what you've just told us.

When you 2 first exchanged messages you found her to be.. exactly what you just said to us.

As you 2 hadn't exchanged messages for a while and she's on your friends list, you decided to take a peek at her profile to see how things were going for her.

Then mention the pic and ask her if the guys in the pic are your pals. Mention things about them that only friend would know about them.

I'm sure she'll be cool. It's quite spooky. Grindon and myself have had a couple of spooky internetty moments. Weird!

Just go with your gut instinct.
I've met people in the flesh i've met online and it's been really cool. I'm meeting up with about 50 in October for a gig. I've been lucky the people i've met have all been genuine.


Or just have a laugh about myspaz when you meet in the flesh.

You always title it something along the lines of.. 2 free tickets to see< insert band of choice>

Then open the mesage with Hahah only kidding, but it made ya look!

[DAS]

OK, thanks people - and Row on MySpace who speaks sense - let me take out the intoxicated awfulness and rephrase the dilemma in the way I would have done "normally". And you can bet money I would have used the style of an essay question just to be different:

It turns out that Myspace girl and my old mates appear to know each other. That makes it fairly awkward now in that, should I meet up with my old mates again, it will probably appear that I have done so as a result of the photograph - ding ding ding, I'm a MySpace stalker. Take out the photograph thing and it's almost a perfect situation don't you think. Put in the photograph thing and it is not so perfect.

To what extent can it be argued that this statement is either a proportionate or disproportionate outlook? Has the author overanalysed the situation?

(I would also like to declare that I actually have no inhibition, reluctance or shyness whatsoever in meeting either the girl in question or the group of old mates, so it's not an issue of running away like a girl. So in that respect all is well. I'm merely interested in how stalkerish I would look).

[Lorns]

OK, thanks people - and Row on MySpace who speaks sense - let me take out the intoxicated awfulness and rephrase the dilemma in the way I would have done "normally". And you can bet money I would have used the style of an essay question just to be different:

It turns out that Myspace girl and my old mates appear to know each other. That makes it fairly awkward now in that, should I meet up with my old mates again, it will probably appear that I have done so as a result of the photograph - ding ding ding, I'm a MySpace stalker. Take out the photograph thing and it's almost a perfect situation don't you think. Put in the photograph thing and it is not so perfect.

To what extent can it be argued that this statement is either a proportionate or disproportionate outlook? Has the author overanalysed the situation?

(I would also like to declare that I actually have no inhibition, reluctance or shyness whatsoever in meeting either the girl in question or the group of old mates, so it's not an issue of running away like a girl. So in that respect all is well. I'm merely interested in how stalkerish I would look).

Oh good god. Now you're complicating things. I'll make it really easy. If you want to meet with your friends just meet up with them. IF you bump into her just deal with the situation as it arises. Think on your feet boy.

[DAS]

OK, thanks people - and Row on MySpace who speaks sense - let me take out the intoxicated awfulness and rephrase the dilemma in the way I would have done "normally". And you can bet money I would have used the style of an essay question just to be different:

It turns out that Myspace girl and my old mates appear to know each other. That makes it fairly awkward now in that, should I meet up with my old mates again, it will probably appear that I have done so as a result of the photograph - ding ding ding, I'm a MySpace stalker. Take out the photograph thing and it's almost a perfect situation don't you think. Put in the photograph thing and it is not so perfect.

To what extent can it be argued that this statement is either a proportionate or disproportionate outlook? Has the author overanalysed the situation?

(I would also like to declare that I actually have no inhibition, reluctance or shyness whatsoever in meeting either the girl in question or the group of old mates, so it's not an issue of running away like a girl. So in that respect all is well. I'm merely interested in how stalkerish I would look).

Oh good god. Now you're complicating things. I'll make it really easy. If you want to meet with your friends just meet up with them. IF you bump into her just deal with the situation as it arises. Think on your feet boy.

Biff boink wham bam thank you mam!

It's not like I'm having sleepless nights over it, it's just like "Oh bugger, this would have been a bit less guilty looking if I'd sorted something out before a bloody picture got published to the world wide web".

You don't look pregnant by the way, I can just tell.

[Gavin Scott]

Think on your feet boy.

I do a lot of mine on my back.

[Lorns]

So she doesn't know you've seen it, so you don't need to mention it. See it's getting easier. You're not losing anysleep over it. Where's the problem?

Why do you lads have to be so complicated one minute and manage to say exactly the right thing the next?

Cheers DAS i don't feel so deflated now

[DAS]

I can't prevent myself from overcomplication. Just when you think you can't complicate something anymore, I will complicate it.