A bit of a queer question

Gavin Scott · Mon 10 Jul, 2006 19.31

I knew I liked boys before I knew it was "wrong" or even "different".

I'm sure it is different for different people.

I'm not sure I fully understand why it takes some people many years to accept the feelings they have, but I would like to.

fusionlad · Mon 10 Jul, 2006 19.49

Not The Chef wrote:For those who are that way inclined...

When, and how, did you learn that you were gay?

Didn't accept it till I was about 19, but I remember having gay feelings when I was 10.

Are you straight? If so when did you learn you were straight?

Dr Lobster* · Mon 10 Jul, 2006 20.10

fusionlad wrote:Are you straight? If so when did you learn you were straight?

i think it's very different when you're straight... from a very young age i seem to remember being exposed to the 'normal' male/female partnerships (mum, dad, brother, sister etc). i can't ever remember being introduced to the concept of homosexuality until i was at high school at about 11 (and that was not in class, but by children calling others 'gay', 'bent', etc etc - i certainly don't really remember being conscious of it much earlier. it would certainly be very difficult for me (if i was homosexual) to even attribute my feelings given the fact that at that time in my life i was only ever exposed to male/female bondings.

i can't speak for everyone, but i think my entire sexuality at that age wasn't developed - i recall many of the older boys on the bus talking about how they'd seen various girls boobies - at that age i couldn't see the appeal of them, it wasn't until i was probably 12 or 13 did i fully appreciate the fact that female breasts were put there solely for my enjoyment.

Not The Chef · Mon 10 Jul, 2006 20.22

Gavin Scott · Mon 10 Jul, 2006 20.31

I think it is a fair statement to say that you would have to introduce the "concept" of gay relationships to a child that does not experience such feelings. Such exposure is likely to happen in the playground; but of course most of us learn many many things there.

My first flush of feelings had nothing to do with sex, as that was a concept I was totally unfamiliar with.

Later, when I learned about the mechanics of it all (in the vaugest possible way), I found it all a bit repellant. Male/male and male/female alike. That soon passed.

In one very odd way, I was lucky to have been so morbidly obese as a child. I had none of the pressures to find a girlfriend in school. No girl would ask me out, and she certainly wouldn't say yes if I asked her. As a result I had plenty of time to realise exactly what I wanted.

I think there are a lot of good looking gay lads who end up in straight relationships because of peer pressure at school.

There are bound to be many who only admit the truth to themselves many years later.

No wonder people think being gay is something which you choose, or something which comes and goes.

In my opinion, it is a chromosomal difference which is there from birth, but some choose to conceal it or deny it to themselves.

marksi · Mon 10 Jul, 2006 20.47

Not The Chef wrote:I'm straight but I always wonder how gay people realise that they're of that orientation. I always found women attractive and not men. But there must come a point where you realise that it's not natural.

But it is natural. It's what I feel. It's part of who I am. I didn't choose to be gay, so therefore it arrived as part of the natural process that produced me.

nidave · Mon 10 Jul, 2006 23.14

Not The Chef wrote:It was similar for me. I didn't know what gay meant until I was about 10.

But I've always wondered do your hormones gradually go that way, or do you constantly find men attractive and not women?

I'm straight but I always wonder how gay people realise that they're of that orientation. I always found women attractive and not men. But there must come a point where you realise that it's not natural.

I knew I was gay from about 9 10 ish. And its very natural - its sleeping with a women I find unnatural.
Not The Chef you are a sick straight pervert your not a natural person because you sleep with women!

Not The Chef · Tue 11 Jul, 2006 00.06

fusionlad · Tue 11 Jul, 2006 04.29

Not The Chef wrote:OK, but do you get what I mean when I say "natural"? It's not the traditional thing/done thing/etc etc, man was designed to bone woman etc etc

It is form some... none of us choose to be gay! :roll:

nidave · Tue 11 Jul, 2006 08.28

fusionlad wrote:
Not The Chef wrote:OK, but do you get what I mean when I say "natural"? It's not the traditional thing/done thing/etc etc, man was designed to bone woman etc etc
It is form some... none of us choose to be gay! :roll:

Thats not true - I chose to be gay - I rememebr it quite clearly. It was Monday morning at 10am. I had to sign a contract and everything.

Actuly I beleve its very natural - I think once the population gets to a certan size (worldwide) gay men rise up to control new births!