The wife came up to me one night and said...
"When are you gonna fix that plug?"
I said "Oi. Do I look like a f*ckin' electrician?"
"Well when are you gonna fix the tap, I'm sick of it drippin'!?"
"Ey. Take a good look at me. Do I look like a f*cking plumber"
"Well when are you cutting the grass?"
"Phhrrrt! Do I look like a f*cking gardner"
Later I wen't down the pub with the lads for a few pints. I came back home and all the jobs were done.
I said "All the jobs are done!"
She said "Yeah. Big John next door came round and did all the jobs"
"For some money? How much do I owe him?"
"None, actually. I offered to make a nice big chocolate cake, or give him a blowejob"
"That bastard loves his cakes..."
"Oi.. Do I look like a f*cking baker?"
