Metropol

Jovis wrote:All seems quite civillised in Portsmouth, nobody seems to have died yet. This year. Well, in my street anyway. I think.

Very sad.......that's the last we heard of Jovis before his house was stormed by 28 Polish and 73 Bulgarian workers hunting for their lost sparkler! It was a present to send back "home".

Extensive police investigations haven't found the sparkler, but Jovis and 101 EU nationals have been implicated in other crimes owing to trace elements of DNA in the roof timbers in a house in Morocco according to Clarence Mitchell.

Why have I always assumed Jovis was female? I mean I'd built an image of 'her' up and everything.

Maybe Jovis is a feminine sounding nickname? Personally I see everybody on here as female, apart from Alexia, who is male.

Yes, I have now been locked up. I'm allowed on the internet, but I'm not allowed to say that I hid the sparkler under my bed, so all is well.

Jovis wrote:Maybe Jovis is a feminine sounding nickname? Personally I see everybody on here as female,.

That is the best laugh i've had all day.

All you boys are such girls. I can see Nick now powdering his nose, Jamez adjusting his stockings and Grindon touching up his lippy. And if you'll excuse me for a while i'm going out in a mo and need to perform the 3 esses. Thats a shower shit and shave to you girls.

Is that the order you do it in then?

I always do it shit, shave then shower.

Reason being - what's the point of showering and then defecating? You clean yourself up just to ruin your handiwork with a comedy shaped sponge immediately. You'd be like Captain Kirk with Klingons around Uranus.

Also I always find that the mirror in the bathroom is invariably steamed up when I step out of the shower, so doing a shave gets difficult and involves a lot of guesswork.

Straddling the topic wall somewhat - what's more economical - buying a razor and replacing the blades, or buying packs of disposable plastic ones?

Alexia wrote:Straddling the topic wall somewhat - what's more economical - buying a razor and replacing the blades, or buying packs of disposable plastic ones?

Cheap disposables are the best value, so long as you change to a new one every day. Tesco seem to deliver on both quality and price there. Unlike in Scotland where men only shave once a week - in England, Northern Ireland & Wales "men are men" and have to shave every day.

As for replaceable razors - the more expensive "Gillette 18-blade ultra smooth" (I jest at the hyperbole) seem a pointless excess since they don't last more than 3 days and are more than 3 times the price. A good shaving gel and decent aftershave moisturiser is worth more than an exhorbitantly priced replaceable blade.

I don't like electric razors (although I have one for emergencies) - they mangle the skin and leave me with an awful dry shaving rash (on my face - I don't shave anywhere else).

Alexia wrote:Also I always find that the mirror in the bathroom is invariably steamed up when I step out of the shower, so doing a shave gets difficult and involves a lot of guesswork.

rub shaving foam all over it and wipe it off, that should stop it from steaming up.

nodnirG kraM wrote:

miss hellfire wrote:... and Grindon touching up his lippy.

They ran out of my colour in Boots.

Sput PM'd me with information which suggested he had an ample supply of your favoruite colour.

while we are on the subject, can some one explain why the clocks have not been put back on this forum

barcode wrote:while we are on the subject, can some one explain why the clocks have not been put back on this forum

well... as the main forum clock is completely in sync with GMT...

Maybe it you clooks?

NO it your!