Posted: Wed 28 Sep, 2005 20.55
Yeaaap! I think so...
you FUCKING think so I think you mean - shit bitch.Jamez wrote:Yeaaap! I think so...
you FUCKING think so I think you mean - shit bitch.Jamez wrote:Yeaaap! I think so...
Last Day on the Job:
It was the postman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying
the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.
When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by
the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him
on his way with a big gift envelope.
At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars.
The folks at the third house give him a selection of fishing gear.
At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful
and large breasted woman, in a very revealing see-thru negligee,
wearing absolutely nothing whatsoever underneath
She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door, and led
him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with
the most mind blowing fuck he had ever experienced.
When he had had enough they went downstairs, where she cooked
him a big fry up for breakfast. Bacon, eggs, sausages, you name it.
While he was enjoying his breakfast, she poured him a cup of tea.
As she was pouring, he noticed a £5 note sticking out from under the
cup's bottom edge. "All this was just too wonderful for words,"
he said, "but what's the fiver for?"
"Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would
be your last day, and that we should do something special
for you. I asked him what to give you."
He said, "Fuck him, give him a fiver."
The lady then said, "The breakfast was my idea."
At least I can fucking spell HOMOSEXUAL. The time sponsored by Windows XP is two four and thirty seconds...beep beep beep...Isonstine wrote:This thread is hilarious.
Yet another thread for the 'amusing' members to make their voice that little bit louder than the rest.
I wish I was as funny as the rest of you - swear words are such a manly tool.
Peter Andre:
What a cunt! What the fuck was he doing in the jungle for? He should've never been
released from the "I'm so shit I cant even make a decent single" asylum. Watching
him be all slimy over a big breasted slag proves my point that he really is a true
cunt! Not sure about being from down under, he should actually just be down
under a pile of concrete. The two deserve each other, fucking pair of twats!
Ken Livingstone:
Commie cunt. Fucking nightmare for drivers and does bugger all for London apart
from lord off with an annoying cockney accent. Relates to the people my arse!
The fucking shitbag in his City Hall. A cunt of the highest order, who
unfortunately, has high power. Cunt. Cunt. Commie fucking CUNT.
The Darkness:
Ponced up Queen worshippers trying to reinvent the worst of a decade that
made us all look like twats. That thousands of inane salesmen on the
motorway think they're God's gift to music says it all. Fuck off back
off the timewarp you appeared from, cunts.
Peter Andre (again):
Do you actually believe that the rest of your paltry, pathetic existence is destined
to be spent with a balloon-titted, nasty little whore whose only claim to fame is
at the expense of mawkish, celebrity-obsessed retards who sit at home living
their tragic no-lives through the illusion that is 'meeja'?
You're part of that, you dim-witted, talentless antipodean fuckterranean chimp.
And just as quickly as we can switch the fucker off, so will your dismal existence
be, once she gets bored with Hello masturbating about your non-relationship.
Pick on someone your own IQ, you cunt!
Oh, you did.
And plenty of nominations for hopeless smackhead cunt of the moment, Pete Doherty:Kev from the "Bev! Kev!" AA advert:
You materialistic Volvo driving cunt. You were a Cunt as Stu pot in Grange Hill and 25
years has made no difference. Apart from now having an equally smug bitch of a wife.
The baby-faced Gareth Gates clone, out of Clash wannabes the Libertines. Constantly in
the shit for this and that and strung out on heroin most of the time. If he was your
best mate you'd kick his knob in, but because he's a fucking rock star everybody
loves him. Just fuck off and die in the gutter you homoerotic nobody.
For turning Kate Moss and your own life into a farce. Before she met you Kate was
a lovely, well-rounded girl, no trouble to her parents and she would certainly
have never, ever taken any dru . . . hang on a minute . . .
Boring the country with your model fucking, smack taking, crack smoking stories.
Clearly the dullest of all famous heroin takers and your lack of talent only
exacerbates my hatred of you. You spoonfaced, bug eyed buffoon.
Run along you cunt.
In that case, sing along to this . . .Johnny wrote: I fucking hate when the useless cunts on the London fucking Underground come up with totally wanky excuses
Last Saturday & Sunday the shitty Circle and bloody Hammersmith & fucking City
line they were pissing delayed because they has a fucking staff shortage!
What an absolute fucking useless wanky shitty excuse!
They probably all got a fucking "nasty cough", lazy bastards!
Did you write that one?DJGM wrote:For turning Kate Moss and your own life into a farce. Before she met you Kate was
a lovely, well-rounded girl, no trouble to her parents and she would certainly
have never, ever taken any dru . . . hang on a minute . . .