Metropol

Hey Johnnyboy, did you have any luck with that internet dating thing at all? I remember a thread not long ago about you giving it ago. I myself have tried it a couple of times lately. I ended up meeting 2 women, both no-go'ers tho. The 1st woman couldn't stop talking about herself so I soon dropped her like a lead weight, and the 2nd just wanted to shag 24/7. One day she asked me to phone in ill for work one day so that I could go around to shag her. When I said I couldn't just take days off like that, she said I just didn't really fancy her and that was the real reason. :roll:

Neither relationship lasted very long :roll:

Ta for asking, mr smuf - internet dating is a funny thing.

I have had 6 dates off datingdirect this year, and this is what happened on...

Anna 31 - Number of Dates 20+ Snog + Shag +
Lovely girl - really appreciated her character but not quite right for me. Ended up seeing her for 4-4.5 months. Still in touch with each other, but there's no way of us getting back together. Fantastic person though and lucky to have her as a friend.

Clair 26 - Number of Dates 1 Snog + Shag -
I really had the hots for this one - even wrote a thread whining and puking about my experience with her. Totally my kettle of fish lookswise, but said she didn't feel the "fireworks" on our first snog. Pity, this one would have been a stayer - and she's had the foolery to turn moi down!!!

Vicky 33 - Number of Dates 4 Snog + Shag + (Ongoing situation)
A nurse, this one's fine. Totally sexually and personally compatible, and have always got on. However, she's notoriously difficult to pin down to see again, and was the inspiration of this thread.

Caroline 33 - Number of Dates 1 Snog + Shag + (Ongoing-ish)
This one was nice, but definitely detected an anti-men theme running in her. She was puking about how some men didn't fancy her - I thought oh please. Slated to see her again soon.

Liz 31 - Number of Dates 1 Snog - Shag -
Liz had real issues. She didn't drink on the date for a start and brought her car. Was pretty touchy-feely with me but freaked out when I went for a snog. Fuck her!

Debs 33 - Number of Dates 1 Snog - Shag -
Mad, terrible eye contact and MAJOR issues with men.

So, a mixed bag this year. I am definitely beginning to formulate the theory that if a woman hasn't lived with a guy by the age of 30, or had a relationship of more than 3 years in her life, there MUST be a reason for it.

Hence, if it doesn't work out with Vicky, and I hope it does as she's class, then I am going to go for women in their mid-20s. They haven't had enough experience yet to be totally "fucked over" by men (although Clair was an exception to that).

On your stuff, the 1st woman sounds like a nightmare. Was she totally in love with herself, do you think?

You sound like you kind of regret the second one. Are you missing the sex (totally understandable), or do you think it ended too soon?

That is a mixed bag there, JB. Well to put things in perspective, i'm 27 and have been using datingdirect and similar sites to look for lasses in the 20 - 30 age range. I don't believe they are any better that the ones in your range, tho I have found a few nice young birds around 20, 21 years old who appear to be more open-minded and "normal", if you know what I mean.

Well the first lass I mentioned was a teacher. The first message or so was OK, but then after a few emails I soon went off her - she used to talk about herself like all the f'cing time, never asked me any questions and was just generally boring. I really didn't want to meet her, but she insisted on giving it a chance, so I thought i'd be fair and at least meet up to find out what the crack was. Needless to say, the meet was awful. The whole date was about her and her career as a teacher. Now I should have known better to trust a teacher like!! She defo had men problems. Not only was she up her own arse, she quite clearly had problems with the male species. Was really pleased to see the back of her.... I haven't had any contact with her after the date, even though she's been txt'ing and emailing like crazy demanding to know why I won't see her again. I haven't replied.

The second lass was insecure - deeply insecure. I can't really say I fancied her tho, and the sex was just something we did, not that I can say it was really enjoyable, it was just OK. I am sorta still in contact with her, tho I haven't actually seen her for about 4 weeks now and I think I'm gonna pull the plug properly on this one soon.

To be honest, I really can't see myself using these dating sites again. I think many of the women on them have "issues" in one form or the other, regardless of age. Good luck tho JB, hope something happens there for you!

mr smuf wrote:

Dr Lobster* wrote: how i met her was she was on a work night out with her mates were taking pictures in the local pub - i saw this happening and walked up to one of the girls in the picture and stuck my tongue in her ear and did something stupid with my face. it kind of went on from there and we ended up going out.

However this type of behaviour doesn't work that often on most lasses. Any bloke who does that around the girls I know would get a slap, or simply be labelled as an arsehole. It really depends on the type of girl I think???

I second that emotion, I see it happen quite often when other lads use this type of thing to attract the ladies, but say if I did it, then the ladies would go quite mad and probably label me as an arsehole. But as you say it can depend on the type of girl and how much they know you. Say if I tried that sort of thing on a girl (especially someone who I know) then they wouldn't have it, as they know I'm not that sort of guy really.

Frankly I feel somewhat trapped with women, I will openly admit I've never had a girlfriend and still am a Virgin (surprise, surprise), but thats never to say that I like girls. Now I do like a girl who I work with, we're good friends, we're the same age and we like the same sort of things (we're both into Sugar Rush on C4 on a Tuesday night at the mo.) Now this is the sort of girl I would like to have a relationship with, as no other girl I know has made me happier and made me feel normal.

One little problem stands, she knows I like her in that way, though we don't talk about it, she also knows alot about me and my previous experience (none), but saying that she hasn't had a boyfriend in 2 years since she moved to Warrington. She tends to like other lads, especially if they're well built, I'm not (though I'm at normal weight) and to be honest I start thinking many things, such as why doesn't she react to me like that, is she joking, the list can go on quite frankly, but I can get rather depressed about it at the best of times, the only benefit of that it actually made me work fast once.

Is it worth just moving on really? But I like her alot, as we get on really well, plus I don't have many female friends at the moment, my best bet of getting a girl is when I'm really drunk and I'm not my usual (and at times thinking) self. It just also doesn't help that I look round and most of my mates have got/had partners recently, which again makes me think, why not me? Is there something wrong, or do I just need to get my arse in gear?

mr smuf wrote:Well the first lass I mentioned was a teacher. The first message or so was OK, but then after a few emails I soon went off her - she used to talk about herself like all the f'cing time, never asked me any questions and was just generally boring. I really didn't want to meet her, but she insisted on giving it a chance, so I thought i'd be fair and at least meet up to find out what the crack was. Needless to say, the meet was awful. The whole date was about her and her career as a teacher. Now I should have known better to trust a teacher like!! She defo had men problems. Not only was she up her own arse, she quite clearly had problems with the male species. Was really pleased to see the back of her.... I haven't had any contact with her after the date, even though she's been txt'ing and emailing like crazy demanding to know why I won't see her again. I haven't replied.

Good decision, fella. There's nothing quite worse than self-obsession in a woman!

As we get older, the ability to detect "issues with men" in women does become easier. Perhaps that is because we are more experienced, or because they're less able to cover it up. I dunno, I'm not a psychologist. But there do seem to be tons out there.

From a cynical point of view, your lack of getting back in touch with her might make her eager to please you if you two met up again. Maybe she is used to men kissing her arse to be with her, and suddenly, mr smuf comes along and changes her world!!!

mr smuf wrote:The second lass was insecure - deeply insecure. I can't really say I fancied her tho, and the sex was just something we did, not that I can say it was really enjoyable, it was just OK. I am sorta still in contact with her, tho I haven't actually seen her for about 4 weeks now and I think I'm gonna pull the plug properly on this one soon.

To be honest, I really can't see myself using these dating sites again. I think many of the women on them have "issues" in one form or the other, regardless of age. Good luck tho JB, hope something happens there for you!

The dating sites are a mixed bag, but as a veteran of probably 30+ dates over the years, there are a few gems out there. It's fucking frustrating looking though, so, if I could say anything to help, don't burn your bridges on them just yet.

Good luck to you too, mr smuf!

nwtv2003 wrote: Is it worth just moving on really? But I like her alot, as we get on really well, plus I don't have many female friends at the moment, my best bet of getting a girl is when I'm really drunk and I'm not my usual (and at times thinking) self. It just also doesn't help that I look round and most of my mates have got/had partners recently, which again makes me think, why not me? Is there something wrong, or do I just need to get my arse in gear?

You wouldn't be the only one not to have had a girlfriend before, mate. It seems quite a few lads haven't had one either, and are still virgins. So try not to feel too bad about that, it's only gonna depress you and inhibit your chances of getting one in the future.

Your case of working with a girl you fancy is a classic one though. I think most blokes have been there before, and it's hard to deal with. If the girl knows you like her but hasn't hinted that she wants more of your attention, then it's likely she doesn't feel the same way about you. I'm sorry mate, but shit happens and like I've said, we've all been there. It makes it harder when you are working so closely with someone you fancy. If she rejects you, then what do you do? Could you still work there? Gossip gets around, and I find that most girls are good at spreading stuff around without a second thought about the other persons thoughts or feelings. Personally, I'd look elsewhere and try and take you mind of her. Try and get a girl elsewhere, somewhere where you don't have to face her everyday. And if you get rejected, who cares? It's not like you have to face her and her mates anyway like you may have to at work. Just move along to next lass.

nwtv2003 wrote:Is it worth just moving on really? But I like her alot, as we get on really well, plus I don't have many female friends at the moment, my best bet of getting a girl is when I'm really drunk and I'm not my usual (and at times thinking) self. It just also doesn't help that I look round and most of my mates have got/had partners recently, which again makes me think, why not me? Is there something wrong, or do I just need to get my arse in gear?

For what it's worth, nwtv2003, the transition from friendship to sexual relationship with a woman is one I've never been able to make, and I would say that I'm fairly experienced with women. That said, I only befriend women that I have either slept with already, or have no intention of sleeping with in the future.

Have you thought about trying speed dating? I have no experience of it whatsoever, but if it doesn't work out with the Vicky bird, a mate and I will be going asap.

johnnyboy wrote:Have you thought about trying speed dating? I have no experience of it whatsoever, but if it doesn't work out with the Vicky bird, a mate and I will be going asap.

I have considered it, but I don't think I'd be brave enough.

On a serious note I know how it feels to know that you're not going to get any further, it is a pain in the rectum quite frankly. I have tried asking her out in the past, but it was simply one of those, you're a nice guy but No. I just though at the time, its worth a shot, I get my hopes up too high. First shift back after I did ask it felt awkward to say the least, but I got over it, but this was sometime ago. One problem is that she had always been screwed around by guys in the past, in that she always got stood up by other guys who only wanted a fuck or were on drugs. This is where I got the idea of should I ask her out, I won't fuck her about like every other Joe.

But as you say I should move on, and I do know that, but I find it quite difficult, doesn't help to say I'm working Full time at the moment, so this doesn't help my feelings either. But as I said the problem is I would like to be more than a friend to her, it's like super glue, something you get stuck to, or Pringles, once you pop you just can't stop, sort of thing.

Also doesn't help to say she's going to University in September, though she's still deciding whether she's going to keep the job, as she's only going to Merseyside. (Which from Warrington is as short as 45 minutes in the car, dependent where you're going)

I've also got this feeling at the moment that life's too short, many people, either I have known or have been more of a friend of a friend sort of thing have died, even Richard Whiteley dying just made me think (but thats only because I was a regular viewer) should I ask her out and what have you.

The best bet for me is being not at work, at home I have my TV, my PC etc, I also have my friends which I wouldn't change quite frankly. Plus I have a bit of cash stored in the bank too.(Hopefully I will be buying a car soon)