Telly programmes you just can't face watching

[Dr Lobster*]

as this isn't strictly about presentation, i feel such a thread should be formed here.

for those of you who share accommodation with somebody else or regularly watch dvd/tv with a friend or associate, which part of their viewing makes you feel like you want to rip out your soul and give it to michael grade?

for me, it is these programmes:

america's next top model : just the thought of that theme tune makes me feel ill.

heroes : who came up with this rubbish? it's like a crappy marvel comic strip with actors made from mdf or ply who are just thoroughly unlikeable. it's so bad it's not even ironic.

strictly come dancing / dancing on ice: can't stand these things, they take something which is actually quite wonderful to watch and rape it for all it's worth.

deal or no deal : great idea for a game show, and it's good uncle noel is on telly, but how come so many fooking cranks get on with their mental superstitions and their personal depressive stories about their particular trial through adversity? it's all very sad but not the sort of thing i want to watch whilst i wait for the microwave to re-heat my korma and beans.

any channel 4/5 programme about fat people becoming thin, thin people becoming fat, or fat people consuming the diet of a thin person and vice versa etc etc. same thing all the time just with different people. please, think of something original.

and finally,

any sort of programme where you have to vote in the lead for a west end musical, most probably presented by the talented and thoroughly fresh graham norton. please, don't degrade musicals into parades for wankers.

i would give most haunted a mention, i acknowledge it's existence but don't actually know anybody who watches it.

oh, and i really can't stand eurovision. i'd rather sit in the car and sit through that.

[Sput]

Most of BBC comedy is awful: The green green grass and catherine tate to name but two. Big Brother, obviously, in fact anything in the reality genre. Even Masterchef has ludicrously stretched suspense. On Five I'm similarly depressed to see the seemingly endless line of freak show documentaries. Obviously, daytime TV is an amazing stream of home improvement, property and granny-selling bilge such that you'd rather smash yourself repeatedly over the head using a 19th century fire poker than watch another minute of those smug cretins.

[Ebeneezer Scrooge]

Good to see you back Doc.

Having sat here with little choice but to watch rock rivals, that really has to be at the top of my list now!
I don't see what itv are trying to do - is it supposed to be this bad?!

[lukey]

There's a deal in our flat - I don't prevent them from watching Hollyoaks, if they extend the courtesy to C4 News.
Hollyoaks is just dreadful - not even in a Bold and the Beautiful-esque ironic way - it's just bad. I've realised that I've probably had to watch it roughly 3 or 4 nights a week for the last 6 months and take literally nothing in. I don't think I've ever been able to absorb so little from a TV show.

Ditto with most of the reality TV nonsense. I used to be a habitual BB viewer, but just lost interest in the last couple of years, and I don't give the Strictly Maria Factor arena a second glance.

[Gavin Scott]

as this isn't strictly about presentation, i feel such a thread should be formed here.

for those of you who share accommodation with somebody else or regularly watch dvd/tv with a friend or associate, which part of their viewing makes you feel like you want to rip out your soul and give it to michael grade?

for me, it is these programmes:

america's next top model : just the thought of that theme tune makes me feel ill.

heroes : who came up with this rubbish? it's like a crappy marvel comic strip with actors made from mdf or ply who are just thoroughly unlikeable. it's so bad it's not even ironic.

strictly come dancing / dancing on ice: can't stand these things, they take something which is actually quite wonderful to watch and rape it for all it's worth.

deal or no deal : great idea for a game show, and it's good uncle noel is on telly, but how come so many fooking cranks get on with their mental superstitions and their personal depressive stories about their particular trial through adversity? it's all very sad but not the sort of thing i want to watch whilst i wait for the microwave to re-heat my korma and beans.

any channel 4/5 programme about fat people becoming thin, thin people becoming fat, or fat people consuming the diet of a thin person and vice versa etc etc. same thing all the time just with different people. please, think of something original.

and finally,

any sort of programme where you have to vote in the lead for a west end musical, most probably presented by the talented and thoroughly fresh graham norton. please, don't degrade musicals into parades for wankers.

i would give most haunted a mention, i acknowledge it's existence but don't actually know anybody who watches it.

oh, and i really can't stand eurovision. i'd rather sit in the car and sit through that.

I'll go along with all of that with the exception of Top Model - given I devote a not inconsiderable amount of time editing them for my youtube page.

But the subject is about suffering a friend/partner's programmes. I sometimes watch his football, and he sometimes watches Top Model.

We both sit purse mouthed.

[Pete]

There's a deal in our flat - I don't prevent them from watching Hollyoaks, if they extend the courtesy to C4 News.

I'm surprised you are able to notice Hollyoaks being on what with you being blind as a bat and unable to spot me waving at you using a large folder as you trudged past the pelican crossing at the bottom of airlie place. that's THREE times you've done that now. I'm no longer going to bother.

and I love Hollyoaks. It's fab.

[Sput]

Ooooh, Hollyoaks causes me physical pain to watch. Neighbours is fab because it's not nearly so self-important.

[lukey]

There's a deal in our flat - I don't prevent them from watching Hollyoaks, if they extend the courtesy to C4 News.

I'm surprised you are able to notice Hollyoaks being on what with you being blind as a bat and unable to spot me waving at you using a large folder as you trudged past the pelican crossing at the bottom of airlie place. that's THREE times you've done that now. I'm no longer going to bother.

and I love Hollyoaks. It's fab.

Hmm. I have been told that I am actually in a complete world of my own when out and about - people do generally have to physically attack me to get my attention...even though you're clearly making this up *ducks*

[Dr Lobster*]

it sad about bbc comedy today. i can remember growing up through the late 1980's and 1990's the fast show, red dwarf, not the nine o'clock news, naked video, bottom, the young ones and not to mention blackadder. these were iconic shows which in many cases actually defined their genre. i'd look forward to watching these programmes, everyone i knew it seemed at the time would watch too with the various catchphrases and insults generally working their way into the school vocabulary.

the only thing i've been watching on the bbc of late is watchdog, rogue traders, life in cold blood, and newsnight. i watched crimewatch the other week.


hollyoaks is one of those things which as far as the other half is concerned i must keep up the front of continually bashing the story line which in some cases is justified for example - that bloody stupid robbery the other week where the guy who was shot was almost fully functional and home within minutes. i do follow it a little bit, but i find it annoying that somebody had had the bright idea to cast 'evil clair' as the exact same character in eastenders. mind you, i hear the same thing is happening with deano in corrie, or did i get that wrong?

[Fork'n'Knife]

I know I am in the minority but I could never stand to watch Friends. You could see every gag coming a mile off and I didn't find any of them funny. The actors were just playing themselves and got a million dollars an episode for the pleasure.



PJ

[Nick Harvey]

You're not alone in hating Friends, Mr Fork.

There's very little American "humour" (quotes deliberate) which I can stand.