Center Parcs

[Alexia]

Tonight is my last night off until Monday, hence my prolific and rather erratic postings tonight, as I have been on the John Smiths' Smooth. Slightly worrying that I have not yet made anything like a sizeable dent in the Christmas purchase (i.e. a box of 18).

Mind you, I can still post drunk and spel things rite than Baacod can do wen soba.

On Monday I shall, with 5 members of my family, be heading out to Center Parcs Longleat for five days of taking time off from the world. For some reason Xmas and New Year have taken slightly more out of me this year than normal, and I'm feeling in need of a little rest and relaxation.

So as well as the usual five-a-side soccer and mountain biking, I shall be taking in the pool and snooker tournaments, the creative writing and art classes, and possibly a little archery and falconry.

Now I'm as working-class / left wing as they come, a little rough round the edges sure but I know how to have a good time. So why is it this wonderful sanctuary far from life itself is infested with the very middle-class twerps I am seeking to avoid?

You know the type - "oh we only got away on holiday twice last year due to my protein window shifting and Jeremy's bonus being 24% lighter than usual, oh and we had to trade in the Aston for a BMW because it became so passe".

Plus, the whole idea of Center Parcs is you cycle on the ROAD (due to the no-cars rule) and you walk on the path, yet I am continually run over by idiots in cycling jackets listening to iPods.

Despite this, I frequently look forward to my CP holiday as the ultimate highlight of the winter season (we've gone every year for 6 years now) and even now have goosebumps at the excitement of it all.

Does anyone else here frequent this post-modern utopia and what are their thoughts on it?

[Gavin Scott]

Is centre parcs all under a dome or am I getting it a bit wrong?

[Sput]

A metaphorical dome of smug "oh we're ever so outdoorsy" types, yes.

[Stuart*]

A metaphorical dome of smug "oh we're ever so outdoorsy" types, yes.

Do you have to mock everything Sput?

Alexia is going on his (no doubt well earned) holiday. But you can't be happy for someone can you?

It's sounds quite a nice active holiday, whether inside a dome or not.

[Alexia]

Sort of Gavin....

The Plaza is the domed area and contains the shops, restaurants, bowling alley and part of the swimming pool. There are other areas such as the sports venue and the Village Square which are different buildings in completely different areas of the park. The whole area, including 800+ villas, is huge. Google Earth "Longleat" and look slightly north-east.

And Sput - I am in no way outdoorsy as my presence here all day has indicated. In fact, while CP has a lot of outdoor activities, I seem to have chosen a lot of indoor ones

[Gavin Scott]

I like the idea of a bit of outdoor fakery. Fakery in general is good on a holiday.

I'm a huge fan of Disney/Universal Studios on that basis.

[Sput]

A metaphorical dome of smug "oh we're ever so outdoorsy" types, yes.

Do you have to mock everything Sput?

Jesus Christ, Stu, I know it's SHOCKING that my thoughts aren't the same as Alexia's and that your mind might not be able to comprehend the redundancy of paying loads to go to a fenced off, paved, sanded-down patch of forest to see the great outdoors from 4-star accommodation. Just for a moment though, humour me. Try to imagine why I'm not exactly blown away by the concept.

Alexia is going on his (no doubt well earned) holiday. But you can't be happy for someone can you?

It's sounds quite a nice active holiday, whether inside a dome or not.

I see you get YOUR outdoor fix by riding your high horse. People have said it quite a bit recently stu, you need to get a sense of humour. Fast.

[Stuart*]

Fakery in general is good on a holiday.

A holiday is "fake" in every respect anyway. It's two weeks of a life we don't normally have (being waited on, having a completely different environment, not working, relaxing and enjoying leisure activities which are normally reserved for weekends when at home).

Essentially it's escapism, no matter where or when it is. I hope you have a wonderful time Alexia.
Don't forget the postcard to Metropol

[Stuart*]

Just for a moment though, humour me.

I do, all the time.

I'm not exactly blown away by the concept.

I'm beginning to think that would be a bonus for more than just the two of us.

I see you get YOUR outdoor fix by riding your high horse. People have said it quite a bit recently stu, you need to get a sense of humour. Fast.

I don't ride anymore. My humour is intact and active thank you; an update isn't rquired.

[all new Phil]

God you're boring, Stu.

[Gavin Scott]

Fakery in general is good on a holiday.

A holiday is "fake" in every respect anyway. It's two weeks of a life we don't normally have (being waited on, having a completely different environment, not working, relaxing and enjoying leisure activities which are normally reserved for weekends when at home).

I see what you mean, but my experience is a bit different. My mothers home in Florida is a home from home. Lounging around, cooking what's in the fridge, watching telly. Very much same shit/different location.

I think I get a particular buzz out of theme parks (especially Universal) because its like being on a very expensive film set. I love seeing things crafted to look like something else. Like walking down the 'New York Street' and seeing the frame behind it holding it up. I love running my hands across surfaces that look like stone but feel like resin, or walking up what look like stone steps and hearing the sound of hollow wood.

Weirdo?

Probably.