A moral issue

Please Respond

yes or no

Yes i'd do it
8
80%
Noway that is so wrong
2
20%
 
Total votes: 10
User avatar
Lorns
Posts: 3149
Joined: Thu 24 Mar, 2005 22.48
Location: A room with a view. 15 Hookey street, the Edge.
Contact:

If you suspected your other half getting was getting upto no good and you knew how his phone worked better than him and you had all the software to register his phone. Would you use the technology at hand to use it against him/her to confirm or ease your doubts?

Cut long story short. I had genuine cause for concern to check his phone for texts. I found some incriminating texts i confronted both parties and problem seems to have been sorted, but female intuition and all that, something still feels wrong. I have everything here to get into the archives of his phone, but morally it feels wrong. It is the perfect moment to do it but i'm beating myself up whether i should go for it or not.
Mental anxiety, Mental breakdowns, Menstrual cramps, Menopause... Did you ever notice how all our problems begin with Men?
User avatar
rob
Posts: 1079
Joined: Sat 06 Sep, 2003 12.01
Location: Overton, Hampshire
Contact:

miss hellfire wrote:If you suspected your other half getting was getting upto no good and you knew how his phone worked better than him and you had all the software to register his phone. Would you use the technology at hand to use it against him/her to confirm or ease your doubts?

Cut long story short. I had genuine cause for concern to check his phone for texts. I found some incriminating texts i confronted both parties and problem seems to have been sorted, but female intuition and all that, something still feels wrong. I have everything here to get into the archives of his phone, but morally it feels wrong. It is the perfect moment to do it but i'm beating myself up whether i should go for it or not.
I would, and have done it. It was the only way to find out if my ex was cheating on me. I eventually found her with my (ex) best mate.
Weekdays from 4pm-7pm on Andover Radio
Overton Radio: Weekdays 2pm-4pm, Weekends 8am-10am
Thames
Posts: 29
Joined: Sat 26 Mar, 2005 10.30
Location: The Black Country

Stuff morals! where do they fit in if there is something going on! your the one who has the moral stand yes, and the one who is being cheated on!

If you don't find anything then you know and that's good. If you do, then you can confront and take appropriate action.

If you don't do it, it's always going to be niggerling (sp?) away at you! not good! have a big glass of wine and go for it!

Only my 2p worth! ofcourse!
cdd
Posts: 2633
Joined: Fri 15 Aug, 2003 14.05

I agree BUT if you're planning to use one of those tracking thingies remember that a) tracking someone without their consent is probably against the law (does that matter?), and more importantly b) these services often send out occasional text messages to the phone being tracked.
User avatar
Lorns
Posts: 3149
Joined: Thu 24 Mar, 2005 22.48
Location: A room with a view. 15 Hookey street, the Edge.
Contact:

Oooh yeah Jamez told me bout these mobile tracking thingys but i haven't got round to it yet. Or more to the point i haven't sorted out a spare mobile to be that cunning yet. The man in question has the same phone as me and i have all the software to upload it to my pootah. I just haven't been able to do it yet. My conscience is getting the better of me.
Mental anxiety, Mental breakdowns, Menstrual cramps, Menopause... Did you ever notice how all our problems begin with Men?
Charlie Wells
Posts: 389
Joined: Tue 02 Nov, 2004 16.23
Location: Cambridgeshire

If you're gut feeling is that something isn't right then it's probably best to take a look. At least that way you'll know one way or the other for certain, rather than being bugged by your mind repeatedly wondering 'what if'. Morally looking at someone else's personal information/content is probably wrong, however I think it's outweighed by the morals of someone cheating on you (which is definitely wrong in my view).
"If ass holes could fly then this place would be an airport."
User avatar
Gavin Scott
Admin
Posts: 6442
Joined: Fri 15 Aug, 2003 13.16
Location: Edinburgh
Contact:

miss hellfire wrote:If you suspected your other half getting was getting upto no good and you knew how his phone worked better than him and you had all the software to register his phone. Would you use the technology at hand to use it against him/her to confirm or ease your doubts?

Cut long story short. I had genuine cause for concern to check his phone for texts. I found some incriminating texts i confronted both parties and problem seems to have been sorted, but female intuition and all that, something still feels wrong. I have everything here to get into the archives of his phone, but morally it feels wrong. It is the perfect moment to do it but i'm beating myself up whether i should go for it or not.
Keep in mind that if you have already confronted both parties with regard to evidence you found on his phone, common sense would suggest that he has taken steps to cover any further evidence.

In any event, I would say that you have both "female intuition" (although I prefer to call it "intuition") as well as past form to base your decision on.

I wouldn't advise you on something which could end a relationship, but I would suggest you listen to that inner voice.
User avatar
Lorns
Posts: 3149
Joined: Thu 24 Mar, 2005 22.48
Location: A room with a view. 15 Hookey street, the Edge.
Contact:

I feel terrible. I've done all the software stuff and uploaded his phone to my pootah, because 80% of you said you would, but i haven't yet tried nosing about histexts and emails yet.

For 2 reasons really. Firstly it feels wrong, like reading someones diary and secondly not sure i can face any bad news just yet. Thats is of course if he is up to no good. Might leave it till the weekend as i've got a shit enough week ahead of me.

Mind you the kids i've had out spying for me. Have come back with some interesting info. I try not to give the kids too much shit when they get boistrous as they can be the eyes and ears of the area and a valuable source of information, if the price is right.
Mental anxiety, Mental breakdowns, Menstrual cramps, Menopause... Did you ever notice how all our problems begin with Men?
Jamez
Banned
Posts: 2587
Joined: Sun 30 May, 2004 23.02
Location: Bristol

miss hellfire wrote: Mind you the kids i've had out spying for me. Have come back with some interesting info. I try not to give the kids too much shit when they get boistrous as they can be the eyes and ears of the area and a valuable source of information, if the price is right.
I have very interesting mental picture of a brunette woman, kerb-crawling the streets of Folkstone in her Jag asking the kiddies to spy on her hubby in return for a free haircut or 'blow dry' (over 16's only).

Hehehe!

If you're worried about doing the nosing deed, Lorna, email me the stuff you have and I'll decipher it for you and compile a little report.
User Removed
User avatar
Lorns
Posts: 3149
Joined: Thu 24 Mar, 2005 22.48
Location: A room with a view. 15 Hookey street, the Edge.
Contact:

Jamez wrote:
miss hellfire wrote: Mind you the kids i've had out spying for me. Have come back with some interesting info. I try not to give the kids too much shit when they get boistrous as they can be the eyes and ears of the area and a valuable source of information, if the price is right.
I have very interesting mental picture of a brunette woman, kerb-crawling the streets of Folkstone in her Jag asking the kiddies to spy on her hubby in return for a free haircut or 'blow dry' (over 16's only).

Hehehe!

If you're worried about doing the nosing deed, Lorna, email me the stuff you have and I'll decipher it for you and compile a little report.

Oh my god i've just realised how terrible that sounds. It's definately not how Jamez put it.

I shall bear your offer in mind Poirot and let you know. ;)
Mental anxiety, Mental breakdowns, Menstrual cramps, Menopause... Did you ever notice how all our problems begin with Men?
Please Respond