Msg for Mr. Nick.
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Nick Harvey
- God
- Posts: 4162
- Joined: Fri 15 Aug, 2003 22.26
- Location: Deepest Wiltshire
- Contact:
You can come and trim my beard on the third Tuesday of each month.miss hellfire wrote:If yes can i come work for you please?
And if you don't ask if I need anything for the weekend, then I won't ask if you're pregnant.
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onetrickpony
- Posts: 305
- Joined: Sat 07 Oct, 2006 14.39
What is Nicks job, farmer springs to mind for some reason, then again i dont think we've ever had a farmer on here before, not that i know off.
After Nick's argument with a farmer on the topic of "Free range eggs" that weren't free, I think it's clear that Nick and farmers have two very different mindsets!onetrickpony wrote:What is Nicks job, farmer springs to mind for some reason, then again i dont think we've ever had a farmer on here before, not that i know off.
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onetrickpony
- Posts: 305
- Joined: Sat 07 Oct, 2006 14.39
Oh i see, infarmer
Mr.Nick could just be an alter ego, the real poster could be a 17 year old geek! Highly unlikley, but its amazing what you can do nowadays.
Mr.Nick could just be an alter ego, the real poster could be a 17 year old geek! Highly unlikley, but its amazing what you can do nowadays.
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Nick Harvey
- God
- Posts: 4162
- Joined: Fri 15 Aug, 2003 22.26
- Location: Deepest Wiltshire
- Contact:
A farmer buys some sheep to breed them for wool. After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant so he calls a vet for help.
The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination. The farmer doesn't have the slightest idea what this means, but not wanting to display his ignorance, he only asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are pregnant.
The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and instead will lie down in the grass when they are pregnant.
The farmer hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the sheep.
So, he loads the sheep into his Landrover, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back and goes to bed.
Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he thinks that the first try didn't take, and loads them in the Landrover again.
He drives them out to the woods, bangs each sheep twice for good measure, brings them back and goes to bed.
Next morning, he wakes to find the sheep still just standing round. One more try, he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up and drive them out to the woods. He spends all day shagging the sheep and, upon returning home, falls limply into bed.
The next morning, he can't even raise himself from the bed to look at the sheep.
He asks his wife to look out and tell him if the sheep are lying on the grass yet. "No" she says, "they're all in the Landrover and one of them is beeping the horn".
The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination. The farmer doesn't have the slightest idea what this means, but not wanting to display his ignorance, he only asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are pregnant.
The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and instead will lie down in the grass when they are pregnant.
The farmer hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the sheep.
So, he loads the sheep into his Landrover, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back and goes to bed.
Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he thinks that the first try didn't take, and loads them in the Landrover again.
He drives them out to the woods, bangs each sheep twice for good measure, brings them back and goes to bed.
Next morning, he wakes to find the sheep still just standing round. One more try, he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up and drive them out to the woods. He spends all day shagging the sheep and, upon returning home, falls limply into bed.
The next morning, he can't even raise himself from the bed to look at the sheep.
He asks his wife to look out and tell him if the sheep are lying on the grass yet. "No" she says, "they're all in the Landrover and one of them is beeping the horn".
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Lorns
- Posts: 3149
- Joined: Thu 24 Mar, 2005 22.48
- Location: A room with a view. 15 Hookey street, the Edge.
- Contact:
Can i stay in that pretty cottage for a day or 2 once a month if i agree to this very tempting offer.Nick Harvey wrote:You can come and trim my beard on the third Tuesday of each month.miss hellfire wrote:If yes can i come work for you please?
And if you don't ask if I need anything for the weekend, then I won't ask if you're pregnant.
and the modern Barber offers Viagra these days to the senior citizen when asking if he wants something for the weekend.
Mental anxiety, Mental breakdowns, Menstrual cramps, Menopause... Did you ever notice how all our problems begin with Men?
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Lorns
- Posts: 3149
- Joined: Thu 24 Mar, 2005 22.48
- Location: A room with a view. 15 Hookey street, the Edge.
- Contact:
Have you found it yet?Alexia wrote:Nope...
Mark initially posted a basic mock video sequence showing what may happen if BBC 1 didnt join News 24 overnight. Basically it consisted of the Music Video Dancers ident, segueing into a BBC1 menu overlaid on some slowed-down blurred BBC1 dancing idents, with traditional test-card Muzak over it. A simple, but effective idea.
This eventually got expanded in the second mock. Mr Grindon, in a tasteful brown shirt, overlaid himself on a weather broadcast (old gfx, pre-Google Earth Ripoff) and ended with the cheesiest grin you'll ever see. This then segued again back into Music Video, complete with a "coming up at 6am breakfast, at 9am City Hospital" etc announcement. Then we heard the BBC-issue national anthem over the blurred, slowed-down idents, and again the menu appeared.
I'll dig it out somewhere and post it when I get five minutes.
Mental anxiety, Mental breakdowns, Menstrual cramps, Menopause... Did you ever notice how all our problems begin with Men?
On an unrelated note lorns, good to see you've graced us with some of your face. Can we expect the rest of it some time soon?miss hellfire wrote:Have you found it yet?Alexia wrote:Nope...
Mark initially posted a basic mock video sequence showing what may happen if BBC 1 didnt join News 24 overnight. Basically it consisted of the Music Video Dancers ident, segueing into a BBC1 menu overlaid on some slowed-down blurred BBC1 dancing idents, with traditional test-card Muzak over it. A simple, but effective idea.
This eventually got expanded in the second mock. Mr Grindon, in a tasteful brown shirt, overlaid himself on a weather broadcast (old gfx, pre-Google Earth Ripoff) and ended with the cheesiest grin you'll ever see. This then segued again back into Music Video, complete with a "coming up at 6am breakfast, at 9am City Hospital" etc announcement. Then we heard the BBC-issue national anthem over the blurred, slowed-down idents, and again the menu appeared.
I'll dig it out somewhere and post it when I get five minutes.
Knight knight
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Ronnie Rowlands
- Posts: 956
- Joined: Sun 15 Apr, 2007 14.50
- Location: North Wales
Yes, why not upload your current msn picture?
Ronnie is victorious, vivacious in victory like a venomous dog. Vile Republicans cease living while the religious retort with rueful rhetoric. These rank thugs resort to violence and swear revenge.
But Ronnie can punch through steel so they lose anyway.
But Ronnie can punch through steel so they lose anyway.