Chavs - One of the funniest things I've seen in a while

[cwathen]

Teenage chavs are something I find quite funny. Their white baseball caps worn as a badge of office even though they clash with everything else they wear, thinking that fake gold jewellery makes them look flash, believing that constantly sporting an expressionless face and bounding from side to side as they walk makes them look hard, it's all so funny.

But last night I witnessed the most hilarious - and baffling - chav behaviour I've ever seen; I'm aware that fighting is an important part of chav life, but I was not aware to the lengths to which they will go.

I was in a bar which is not in the most pleasant part of town. It was suitably dull that I was reduced to looking out the window - and I'm glad I did. Across the road, a group of chavs started to assemble in a shop doorway, readying themselves for a night of intimidation and violence to be directed at whoever might pass by. But there was nothing, no cars to swear at, no people on foot to intimidate, no youth of any intelligence for them to beat up, no chinese/japanese/african person to call a 'fucking paki' (because that's the only racial slur they know), nothing.

Clearly becoming bored and in withdrawl at the lack of violence, 4 of them started playfighting amongst themselves.

After a few minutes of this, the playfight became turned decidedly nasty, as the foursome had formed two gangs which were genuinely now trying to beat the shit out of each other.

The losers, with bloodied noses, then moved off to the next doorway to lick their wounds whilst the victors bragged (probably forgetting that they know the people they've just beaten up).

The main group then moved on, leaving the other two.

After a while, the two guys who 10 minutes ago had been in a fight on the same side (and indeed, 15 minutes before that had been part of the same happy group of chavs ready to prove how hard they are by starting a 15-on-1 fight, then started playfighting themselves. And again, it escalated into a real fight. This time the police happened to be driving past and broke it up.

This has to be the most hilarious thing I've ever seen in my life. But best of all, I have now discovered how to rid the world of chavs - given lack of subjects to beat up, they will eventually turn on themselves, and divide down until it eventually becomes every chav for himself.

So, all we need to do is gather them all together and lock them up with no external stimuli, and rather than become a dangerous ghetto intent on world revenge, they will actually just kill each and rid the planet of the lowlife scum that they are.

So, who wants to contribute to my fund to purchase an awful lot of barbed wire fencing?

[Lorns]

Is that it. I was hoping you was gonna say that they tried intimidating someone who was bigger and tougher than them. Then their 'victim' turned the tables on them all and kicked their arses from here to kingdom come. Apparently you're not allowed to do that these days. In my yoof if i acted like the kids of today, i'd have got a beating and then another from my parents if i'd complained about my comeuppance.

The chavs talk about respect and disrespect but they don't seem to know that to be respected they have to earn it. It's not a god given right.

[Nate J]

Is that it. I was hoping you was gonna say that they tried intimidating someone who was bigger and tougher than them. Then their 'victim' turned the tables on them all and kicked their arses from here to kingdom come. Apparently you're not allowed to do that these days. In my yoof if i acted like the kids of today, i'd have got a beating and then another from my parents if i'd complained about my comeuppance.

The chavs talk about respect and disrespect but they don't seem to know that to be respected they have to earn it. It's not a god given right.

Yeah I prefer that story.

[cdd]

The chavs talk about respect and disrespect but they don't seem to know that to be respected they have to earn it. It's not a god given right.

The trouble is how do you "respect" or "disrespect" someone who you've never met before and never assessed? The answers are in stereotypes which, of course, we're all told are wrong...

[Lorns]

In a nutshell. The yoof should respect their elders. I can say that because i'm now an elder. Most of us have been where the kids of today are, only when i was a punk in the early/mid 80's i didn't go around intimidating the elderly and innocent, nor did i go around stabbing or shooting people for looking at me the wrong way or for their money and/or drugs. The only difference today is that that kids know they have Esther Rantzen on their side.

Kids today are spoilt, it is a material world today whereas back then it was more anti establishment.

[ali.james]

I'm 16, and although I do see a lot of idiots around, I do think a lot of people overlook the majority. A lot of teenagers do actually respect their elders. I'm not spoilt either, I don't live in a particularly affluent area, it's a suburb of Birmingham, but not everyone here is the same. The word "chav" now is terribly overused, and demotes a lot of people without loads of money.

[onetrickpony]

I think its a small numbers of teengers and young men who are actually chavs and rotten to the core.

A lot of teenagers are behaved, ie not mugging old ladies etc. That said i dont go out that much with the problems in and around Corby. A lot of the oldish people can be disrespectful as well as the young.

Take the old chap who works at the pub with me, he is so sly and rude. Me and my workmate were discussing about her Irish background, and he turns rounds round shouting at her, "Don't call it that, never!, Its Londonderry! How dare you..."

What gave him the right to shout at her like that, the convo was nothing to do with him. Also he sits at the end of the bar and gets himself a pint every morning! Now if i did that, or my work mate we would be out on our ear.

Sorry to bring my problems in here, but you get where i am coming from.

[Gluben]

Agree with both posts above. But of course, the particularly bad bunch of teenagers are always highlighted far more than the respectful, well-meaning majority, otherwise newspapers would tell the truth.

[cwathen]

I'm 16, and although I do see a lot of idiots around, I do think a lot of people overlook the majority. A lot of teenagers do actually respect their elders. I'm not spoilt either, I don't live in a particularly affluent area, it's a suburb of Birmingham, but not everyone here is the same. The word "chav" now is terribly overused, and demotes a lot of people without loads of money.

Oh undoubtedly, I do recognise that it's a minority, and I spend a lot of time campaigning against the attitude of people who would tar all young people with the same brush (in particular, I feel that 'no more than 3 school children in this shop at one time' type signs should be treated with the same anti-discrimination laws as a sign publicly discriminating any other demographic group on definiition alone would) or assume that large groups of teenagers must be chavs.

But by the same token, let's not kid ourselves that things were always this way - the issue teenagers (and increasing numbers of young adults) practicising various forms of anti-social behaviour as a way of life is a *growing* social problem; they might still be a tiny minority but the numbers *are* increasing and the severity of their behaviour *is* getting worse. The current ways of dealing with it just aren't working, and it's not a phase which is going to fizzle out by itself.

I think its a small numbers of teengers and young men who are actually chavs and rotten to the core.

Indeed, and my assertion that it's getting worse is that it's not just the kiddiwinkles now - we are now getting a second generation of dysfunctional chavs coming through, where the teenagers causing havoc on the streets have parents who are exactly the same as they are. At the other end of the scale, the youngest people causing havoc are no longer teenagers - some knife-brandishing chavs are in single digit ages.

If the situation continues unchecked, it'll only be a matter of time before we end up with chav granparents too. Tough measures do need to be taken - and it has to start with the acceptance that you can't understand and rehabilitate all of them; nor can you give the teenagers infinate chances to redeem themselves because they *might* grow out of their anti social ways when they grow up.

The time to stop fucking about has well and truly come now. There's a very simple way to stop the rot - any person issued with an ASBO should have that as their final, never expiring, permanent warning. Should they breach the ASBO, or should they commit further anti social behaviour ever again, then they are locked up, for life.

Those who genuinely have the capability of rehabilitation will have the chance - one chance only - to redeem themselves. Those who don't will be removed from civilised free society as they have no place in it. Simple as that.

</rant mode>

[onetrickpony]

That sounds like a good idea Cwathen!

In Corby which is known as a bad town, i think first trials of a curfew was here - is starting to improve, but slowley. Now my cousin who sees himself as this hard man, use to hang around the shops with these people, and would see them as good friends! I spent time with him a couple of nights and although they are only 13 - 15yrs old they are quite intimediating.

The have since been disperesed, and groups around shops seem to be a thing of the past, for now after local shops got together and worked as a team to come up with a plan working in connection with the police.

My workmate Sandra always says that the UK will break out into anachy (sp?) soon, i think she maybe right!

[all new Phil]

Chris, you made the incident sound as if it was completely unprovoked but, for all you know, one of the chavs may have called one of the others *SHOCK HORROR* gay, thus exposing an underlying insecurity that all chavs seem to have.

I once had the pleasure of serving a group of chavs in my old place of work. As there were a few of them, they naturally started acting cocky in front of their mates. One of them decided to ask me "haha, have you got a boyfriend?", to which I replied "yes, I have actually, thanks". He looked like he was about to explode in a combination of confusion and insecurity.