I cheated on my lover with a dustpan

[rts]

TAKE THE THIRD LETTER OF YOUR FIRST NAME

A=I'D LOVE TO LICK
B=I ATE
C=I DUMPED MY BOYFRIEND FOR
D=I HAD A ONE NIGHT STAND WITH
E=I MILKED
F=I SAT ON
G=I SAW
H=I'M IN LOVE WITH
I=IN MY ROOM I FOUND
J=I PUSHED
K=I GOT IN A FIGHT WITH
L=I MURDERED
M=I RAPED
N=I DEEP-FRIED
O=IN MY FREEZER, I FOUND
P=I MOLESTED
Q=I TALKED ON THE PHONE TO
R=I CHEATED ON MY LOVER WITH
S=I'M MOVING IN WITH
T=I JUST KILLED
U=I KICKED AND KILLED
V=I SKINNED ALIVE
W=I GAVE MY NUMBER TO
X=I MARINATED
Y=I BABYSAT
Z=I TRADED MY MOM FOR

NOW TAKE THE THIRD LETTER OF YOUR LAST NAME...

A=A HIPPOPOTAMUS
B=A CURLY FRY
C= A NAKED OLD LADY.
D=AN ERASER
E=A GAY HOBO
F= A BLOCK OF CHEESE
G=AN EMPTY TACOBELL CUP
H=A GREASY PAPER PLATE
I=A SPORK
J=A MELTED ORANGE CRAYON
K=GEORGE WASHINGTON
L=A PEICE OF CHEWED GUM
M=A SEA URCHIN
N=A PAIR OF GRANNY PANTIES
O=ORANGE JUICE
P=YOUR BRA
Q=A BIRD
R=A STOP SIGN
S=A DUSTPAN
T=a random guy
U=A RANDOM GIRL
V=A YELLOW PAPERCLIP
W=A PAIR OF SNEAKERS
X=A TURKEY
Y=A CHICKEN
Z=A JELLYBEAN

NOW TAKE THEM AND PUT THEM AS THE TITLE OF THE BULLITEN IF YOU CHOOSE TOO!!!!!

[Jamez]

I raped orange juice.

Lovely.

[cdd]

I cheated on my lover with a spork.

A sprok? Hah. Granny panties for me!

[Jamez]

It's far funnier with the first letter of both names!

[BBC LDN]

I had a one night stand with a spork.

That bastard must have used rohypnol on me because I can't remember a bloody thing. Probably just as well - a spork could do some serious damage down there.

[nwtv2003]

I'm moving in with a Stop sign.

[Adders]

I'd love to lick a hippopotamus or with the first letter of each name...
I'd love to lick your bra.

[Cheese Head]

I raped a peice of chewed gum

or with first letters...

I pushed an eraser

woooo watch that eraser go!

[Johnny]

I'm In Love With A Stop Sign

Apparently