Sex.

James H · Wed 20 Jul, 2005 18.30

Right, she's told her mum, and she's on The Pill.

I feel it's a waste of a life.

cdd · Wed 20 Jul, 2005 19.21

James H wrote:I feel it's a waste of a life.

A waste of what life?

Dr Lobster* · Wed 20 Jul, 2005 19.24

James H wrote:Right, she's told her mum, and she's on The Pill.

I feel it's a waste of a life.

i don't understand, this is normal stuff. better she's on the pill than get up the duff and either a) have a kid or b) have an abortion.

youngsters will experiment with sex, that's life, that's the way it is - it's only the way you've been tought that you think it's wrong / disgusting / illegal etc. truth is, this has been going on since the dawn of time and that's all there is to it.

Ben · Wed 20 Jul, 2005 20.00

James H wrote:I feel it's a waste of a life.

I would love to know what has frightened you from sex so much to make you say that. I can understand you not wanting to have sex yet, I can understand how you're disapointed she's had sex, but I can't understand how you feel it's a waste of life for a girl to be doing the sensible thing with regards to it. Clearly she is mature enough to handle it. A waste of life is to have sex, without taking precautions and getting lumbered with an STI or a baby.

As for sex eduacation lessons, the only things I remember from that are my female teacher getting embarrassed while answering a question about if girls can masturbate; "I think they have a bump they can rub" (as if she didnt know

) and watching a sex education programme I remember flicking past when I was about four years old (and quickly turning the TV off when the man took off his clothes).

babyben · Wed 20 Jul, 2005 21.47

Ben wrote:
James H wrote:I feel it's a waste of a life.
I would love to know what has frightened you from sex so much to make you say that. I can understand you not wanting to have sex yet, I can understand how you're disapointed she's had sex, but I can't understand how you feel it's a waste of life for a girl to be doing the sensible thing with regards to it. Clearly she is mature enough to handle it. A waste of life is to have sex, without taking precautions and getting lumbered with an STI or a baby.

Agreed.

It's the old way - try it before you knock it...

I think she's done the right thing by telling her mum and going on the pill - sadly it's not the done thing. Thus the UK has a highest teen preggers rate..

Purpleduck · Wed 20 Jul, 2005 23.34

Pretty much agree with all that's been said here. Whilst it might be the "right" thing to do, to wait until she's a bit older - this is obviously what she wants to do and at least she has a modicum of sensibility by going on the pill.

Where I live (Norwich) I read a scary statistic last week that 44% of all pregnancies here end up in abortion. At least she's doing something right.

Sounds like she wouldn't be right for you anyway (not that that helps, I know).

Depressingly, all this relationship crap doesn't get any easier with age - it just gets different. Sadly, I know this all too well!

Gavin Scott · Thu 21 Jul, 2005 00.06

I can't imagine why anyone would think it's appropriate for a 14 year old girl to alter her hormone balance, or to interrupt her menstrual cycle when it may have only functioned properly for, what, 18 months? In my view 14 year olds should not use the pill.

Being on the pill will, in all likelyhood, mean that she doesn't bother using condoms. All of the evidence suggests that this is what will happen, and is the fundamental reason why some sexual health organisations recommend against it.

The most common STI for girls of this age is chlamydia. It shows no symptoms until the damage it causes has already been done. In women, the infection can spread to the fallopian tubes causing irreversible damage.

Condoms are the best protection. It's the best advice a Doctor could give, (and I wish I had taken it).

Purpleduck · Thu 21 Jul, 2005 00.20

Yep - you're right there and I would hope that any doctor would advise the use of condoms in addition to the pill. That's certainly been my experience when visiting the "family planning clinic". They usually bung you an embarrassingly big bag of condoms, pill or not.
Whether or not the advice to use them would be heeded is another mattter.

babyben · Thu 21 Jul, 2005 11.38

Gavin Scott wrote:I can't imagine why anyone would think it's appropriate for a 14 year old girl to alter her hormone balance, or to interrupt her menstrual cycle when it may have only functioned properly for, what, 18 months? In my view 14 year olds should not use the pill.

Being on the pill will, in all likelyhood, mean that she doesn't bother using condoms. All of the evidence suggests that this is what will happen, and is the fundamental reason why some sexual health organisations recommend against it.

The most common STI for girls of this age is chlamydia. It shows no symptoms until the damage it causes has already been done. In women, the infection can spread to the fallopian tubes causing irreversible damage.

Condoms are the best protection. It's the best advice a Doctor could give, (and I wish I had taken it).

I really agree with you gav, but in a practical sense - how many 14 year old boys carry condoms? When they decide to have sex, some protection is better than none, and in this case - her being on the pill is better than nothing.

James H · Thu 21 Jul, 2005 11.42

babyben wrote:
Gavin Scott wrote:I can't imagine why anyone would think it's appropriate for a 14 year old girl to alter her hormone balance, or to interrupt her menstrual cycle when it may have only functioned properly for, what, 18 months? In my view 14 year olds should not use the pill.

Being on the pill will, in all likelyhood, mean that she doesn't bother using condoms. All of the evidence suggests that this is what will happen, and is the fundamental reason why some sexual health organisations recommend against it.

The most common STI for girls of this age is chlamydia. It shows no symptoms until the damage it causes has already been done. In women, the infection can spread to the fallopian tubes causing irreversible damage.

Condoms are the best protection. It's the best advice a Doctor could give, (and I wish I had taken it).
I really agree with you gav, but in a practical sense - how many 14 year old boys carry condoms? When they decide to have sex, some protection is better than none, and in this case - her being on the pill is better than nothing.

The lad's sixteen.

Dr Lobster* · Thu 21 Jul, 2005 12.04

the pill is most dangerous when the woman taking it over 35 or overweight.

most young girls do not have any side effects at all, in fact, it often makes periods lighter, predictable and with less cramps - that's certainly the case with my partner.

you seem to have led a very sheltered life, james.

drop me a pm if you want me to put you in contact with a friend who will be more than happy to drill you up the arse and sort you out.