Sex.

[James H]

I need help from you, this is a very important issue.

Here's an extract from an MSN conversation between me and a friend last night. She's 14, I'm 15.

**** says:
james i need ur advice
James Hall says:
what
James Hall says:
?
**** says:
il help u if u help me
James Hall says:
go on
**** says:
but uv got to promise this conversation goes no furtha than us~?
James Hall says:
ok
**** says:
ok well me nd ***** hav had sex but i dnt no if i shud regret it or be honest wif maself nd accept it???
James Hall says:
oh my God
**** says:
what
**** says:
dnt b like tht plz
James Hall says:
call me
James Hall says:
now
**** says:
i knew u wudnt speak to me when i sed it
James Hall says:
im asking u to call me
**** says:
i cnt im on fne to *****
James Hall says:
well
James Hall says:
cut him off, i need to speak 2 u about dis properly
**** says:
no msn
James Hall says:
dnt wori am nt raj wit u
**** says:
plzzz
**** says:
msn or nothin @ all
James Hall says:
bt tbh it was a reeli stupid thing 2 do, soz for sayin it
James Hall says:
i mean
James Hall says:
i take it ur not stupid
James Hall says:
u did use protection
James Hall says:
didnt u
**** says:
yeh
James Hall says:
gd
James Hall says:
bt i mean
James Hall says:
i rly didnt expect that
**** says:
lol no1 did
James Hall says:
how do u feel about it at the moment
**** says:
good
**** says:
hes comin to my houise tmz
James Hall says:
right
James Hall says:
dont do it agen, plz
James Hall says:
am askin u as a friend
**** says:
y?
James Hall says:
its not worth it! ur only 14 man
James Hall says:
and wt happens wen u split? (if u do)
**** says:
na if i was guna a wud of on tuesday
James Hall says:
i dnt like it
James Hall says:
uv scared me
James Hall says:
soz
**** says:
plz dnt ignore m nw
James Hall says:
im not going 2
James Hall says:
im nt petty
**** says:
dnt think diff of me
James Hall says:
im jst sayin that really scared me
**** says:
im same person jst nt a virgin
James Hall says:
im too protective of you
James Hall says:
soz
**** says:
it ok
**** says:
so when me nd u meetin?
**** says:
...nd obv *****
James Hall says:
yes....
James Hall says:
erm i dont know
**** says:
ok u do think diff of me
**** says:
b honest
James Hall says:
of course i do. i mean i still love you but hell, having sex is like......
James Hall says:
i duno
**** says:
y u think diff?
James Hall says:
cos u scared me!
James Hall says:
i mean
**** says:
me nd ***** havin sex is diffrent to norm obv bt its dun nd i wanted advice nt a lecture nd make me feel bad

(By the way I don't talk in txt spk to anyone else. Asteriks are to protect privacy)

Now here's the story....

She met ***** a while ago, and I only knew they had started going out properly on Tuesday. She said herself she's with him 24/7. She spoke about this last night... so that means that it hasn't really been long. She's one of my best friends however I cannot come to terms with the fact that she's had sex. And she asks me for advice about it and I haven't been in a proper relationship yet! I personally don't know how to feel about her, and I need your help.

How should I feel about this? How should she feel about this?

[time warp]

How old is this other lad? When I was at school one of my mates (16/17 i think he was at the time) was sleeping with a 14 year old frequently.

[James H]

How old is this other lad? When I was at school one of my mates (16/17 i think he was at the time) was sleeping with a 14 year old frequently.

15, I think.

[Gavin Scott]

I haven't read (becuase txt spk makes my eyes go funny) all of the above, but two things spring to mind.

Where are her parents that she can see someone "24/7" at her age?

I hope she used protection.

It's never easy being a friend to someone in this situation James, so you must use your discretion and common sense here.

If she really regrets it then you might want to offer to hang out with her for the next couple of weeks to give her some space from this demanding boy. That means she isn't available whenever the mood takes him - and it WILL take him.

Sex between very young kids is unpalatable but a very real fact of life.

Be a friend James, it's all you can do.

[Ben]

Hmm, she said she wanted that conversation to remain between you two so I'm not sure posting it on the internet is the wisest of moves, but I can understand you wanting advice about it.

She lost her virginity which is a big deal, but as far as I can tell she doesn't feel bad about that and it was safe sex, so really there is nothing wrong with that. I think what she wants to hear though is that people won't judge her because she's had sex.

At the end of the day it happens to most people at some point.

[Dr Lobster*]

i recommend you take advantage of her in this vunerable state and shag her a few times, you know, just to see what it feels like.

[Gavin Scott]

i recommend you take advantage of her in this vunerable state and shag her a few times, you know, just to see what it feels like.

Oh Lobster you naughty crustation.

[babyben]

"I'm 15 but I'm yet to have a relationship" - if I know anything about anything, it's not to bother with serious relationships when your a teenager - shag as much as possible whenever possible as the chances get harder (oo-er) to come by as you get older. Ahem.

I find it very when I hear 14, 15 years old wanting a full blown relationship, if only they knew....

[James H]

I haven't read (becuase txt spk makes my eyes go funny) all of the above, but two things spring to mind.

Where are her parents that she can see someone "24/7" at her age?

I hope she used protection.

It's never easy being a friend to someone in this situation James, so you must use your discretion and common sense here.

If she really regrets it then you might want to offer to hang out with her for the next couple of weeks to give her some space from this demanding boy. That means she isn't available whenever the mood takes him - and it WILL take him.

Sex between very young kids is unpalatable but a very real fact of life.

Be a friend James, it's all you can do.

She doesn't regret it - she says she feels "good about it" but she asked me for advice so I don't know what to do. She loves him (so she says) she sees herself with him for the forseeable future and she's seeing him today, and possibly all next week.

24/7 was a slight exaggeration, she is with him most days.

Thanks Gav, and to all who've replied so far.

[Gavin Scott]

She doesn't regret it - she says she feels "good about it" but she asked me for advice so I don't know what to do. She loves him (so she says) she sees herself with him for the forseeable future and she's seeing him today, and possibly all next week.

24/7 was a slight exaggeration, she is with him most days.

Thanks Gav, and to all who've replied so far.

Well then you've really done your bit.

I'm sure today she "loves" him. I wonder if that is true next month?

Ho hum.

[James H]

What depresses me is the fact that she keeps going on about it, even subtle hints like "he can support my weight on top of him". I'm very protective of her so I don't understand why the hell she did it.