I heard a fab joke the other day and thought it might be time to re-open one of our often-occuring threads.
Q: How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two. One to change the lightbulb and the other one to suck my cock!
LOL! I still find that really funny after a week or so.
Post your jokes, crap or otherwise, here.
Joke thread - the return
I'm such a funny guy - here's another one...
Q: How many Bush Administration officials does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. There is nothing wrong with the light bulb; it's condition is improving every day. Any reports of it's lack of incandescence are totally unfounded, and the result of delusional "spin" assaults from the fanatic, elitist, liberal media. That light bulb has served honorably, and anything you say undermines the lighting effect and dims it's ego. Why do you hate freedom?
Q: How many Bush Administration officials does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. There is nothing wrong with the light bulb; it's condition is improving every day. Any reports of it's lack of incandescence are totally unfounded, and the result of delusional "spin" assaults from the fanatic, elitist, liberal media. That light bulb has served honorably, and anything you say undermines the lighting effect and dims it's ego. Why do you hate freedom?
Dating Tips For Christian Women
1. If he tells your that you are hot...
Tell him God made you hot.
2. If he wants to hold your hand...
Give him a Bible.
3. If he tries to get closer...
Tell him the Holy Spirit is wooing him.
4. If he asks to pay for dinner...
Remind him that Jesus also paid a debt He did not owe!
5. If he reaches his arm around you...
Tell him that nobody will ever be as close to you as Jesus is.
(or ask him if you instead could "lay hands" on him in prayer)
6. If he tries to kiss you...
Remind him that a kiss killed your Savior.
(and you're not ready to "speak in tongues")
7. If he asks to come inside...
Ask him if he has asked Jesus to come inside his heart.
8. If he tells you he loves you...
Tell him that Jesus loves him.
9. If he gets angry that you won't put out...
Clarify to him that W.W.J.D. does NOT mean "Who would Jesus Do."
10. After you dump him...
Tell him that Jesus Christ will never leave or forsake him
1. If he tells your that you are hot...
Tell him God made you hot.
2. If he wants to hold your hand...
Give him a Bible.
3. If he tries to get closer...
Tell him the Holy Spirit is wooing him.
4. If he asks to pay for dinner...
Remind him that Jesus also paid a debt He did not owe!
5. If he reaches his arm around you...
Tell him that nobody will ever be as close to you as Jesus is.
(or ask him if you instead could "lay hands" on him in prayer)
6. If he tries to kiss you...
Remind him that a kiss killed your Savior.
(and you're not ready to "speak in tongues")
7. If he asks to come inside...
Ask him if he has asked Jesus to come inside his heart.
8. If he tells you he loves you...
Tell him that Jesus loves him.
9. If he gets angry that you won't put out...
Clarify to him that W.W.J.D. does NOT mean "Who would Jesus Do."
10. After you dump him...
Tell him that Jesus Christ will never leave or forsake him
Highlight the punchline . . .
Q: What do you call a rabbit with fleas?
A: Bugs Bunny!
Q: What do you call a rabbit with fleas?
A: Bugs Bunny!
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J.Christie
- Banned
- Posts: 377
- Joined: Fri 24 Jun, 2005 19.30
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
Her class was too bright.
Sad, but I try.
Her class was too bright.
Sad, but I try.
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Nick Harvey
- God
- Posts: 4161
- Joined: Fri 15 Aug, 2003 22.26
- Location: Deepest Wiltshire
- Contact:
-
Nick Harvey
- God
- Posts: 4161
- Joined: Fri 15 Aug, 2003 22.26
- Location: Deepest Wiltshire
- Contact:
Oh goodness, and the memories of coding it.nodnirG kraM wrote:Woo - it's like hitting the Reveal button on Oracle. Ahh the memories!
Remembering to switch conceal OFF again after the answer. Otherwise the whole of the rest of the page disappeared.
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Lorns
- Posts: 3149
- Joined: Thu 24 Mar, 2005 22.48
- Location: A room with a view. 15 Hookey street, the Edge.
- Contact:
How many animals can you fit into a pair of tights?
2 calves
1 Beaver
1 Ass
1 Pussy
Countless Hares
The occassional cock
And.. One deadfish no-one can find
2 calves 1 Beaver 1 Ass 1 Pussy Countless Hares The occassional cock And.. One deadfish no-one can findMental anxiety, Mental breakdowns, Menstrual cramps, Menopause... Did you ever notice how all our problems begin with Men?