Women - what a weird bunch

[Sput]

oh hello darling, my dear Willy Wonka

xx

YAY you noticed my willy!

[Jamez]

oh hello darling, my dear Willy Wonka

xx

YAY you noticed my willy!

Your willy has a hairy head! Not good! :roll:

[Dr Lobster*]

I wish I was gay - it would be so much simpler.

I went out on a date with a woman tonight. Got on great, snogged her and then she got all funny with me, saying that because we kissed earlier than she wanted to, the fireworks weren't there.

sounds like a control freak to me; in all probability she was with somebody who was quite controlling before and now she is reaffirming her 'authority'.

she is damaged.

[Brad]

All women seem to be control freaks! Sick of being told what I should and shouldn't like, reasons WHY something "must" be done her way rather than mine etc... Single guy again now and it's a breath of fresh air!

[Dr Lobster*]

All women seem to be control freaks! Sick of being told what I should and shouldn't like, reasons WHY something "must" be done her way rather than mine etc... Single guy again now and it's a breath of fresh air!

the mistake you make is you must make sure RIGHT FROM THE START of the relationship, they know you are in charge.

if any women tries to make me justify what i should or shouldn't like, get them to justify the things they like, like pointless soaps, tattoos, certain fashion labels - assert she is a clone for being like her friends. they don't like it, and they won't give you any shit again.

[Lorns]

All women seem to be control freaks! Sick of being told what I should and shouldn't like, reasons WHY something "must" be done her way rather than mine etc... Single guy again now and it's a breath of fresh air!

the mistake you make is you must make sure RIGHT FROM THE START of the relationship, they know you are in charge.

if any women tries to make me justify what i should or shouldn't like, get them to justify the things they like, like pointless soaps, tattoos, certain fashion labels - assert she is a clone for being like her friends. they don't like it, and they won't give you any shit again.

I don't think either person in a relationship should be in charge.
You are quite right Dr.lobster about making someone justify their likes and dislikes if they try to make you justify yours.
I was with a friend last night and my god she bosses her husband around, even i questioned her when she started moaning at him about HIS crap in the garage. When i mentioned that it's full of his, hers and the childrens, bikes,scooters,tents and boxes that hadn't been unpacked since the move. So theoretically it isn't his crap. She didn't take too kindly to that remark, so i made a swift topic change.

I've never been able to understand why people form a relationship with someone and then try to change them to their ideal. It's not just the females of the species that do this. One of my exes was a control freak he was a really nasty bloke.

I've been thinking of giving you guys some advice on understanding women but i'm afraid i have trouble understanding myself alot of the time.

According to my fella i can have more sides than a bag full of fifty pence pieces.

[Si-Co]

This seems like an appropriate place to post this little anecdote:

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the
woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.

The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."

The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten."

The woman said, "That's okay." and for her first wish, she wanted to be
the most beautiful woman in the world.

The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to. "

The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful
woman and he will have eyes only for me." So, KAZAM! She's the most beautiful woman in the world.

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.

The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you."

The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his
is mine." So, KAZAM! She's the richest woman in the world.

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.

Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good........

Attention Male readers: Please scroll down.

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The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife.

Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really smart.
Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show.

PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this, it only goes to show that you women never listen!

[chinajan]

Venus. Mars. Yes - generally. But -

I have found that having a personality that goes against the perceived norm rebounds on me. Your average straight guy would, if you believe what they say, like a partner who has all the qualities of a best mate, with the bonus of tits and being great in bed. She would share interests like sport (I do), wouldn't nag (I don't), would enjoy separate holidays (I do), would accept and rejoice in their maleness (I love).

But what I've found is that, secretly, those guys really hanker after the so called feminine traits they ostensibly abhor. They want girlie girls, much as they might deny it.

I absolve JB from this generalisation. He really does know what he wants - an equal.

[Lorns]

This seems like an appropriate place to post this little anecdote:

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the
woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.

The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."

The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten."

The woman said, "That's okay." and for her first wish, she wanted to be
the most beautiful woman in the world.

The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to. "

The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful
woman and he will have eyes only for me." So, KAZAM! She's the most beautiful woman in the world.

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.

The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you."

The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his
is mine." So, KAZAM! She's the richest woman in the world.

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.

Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good........

Attention Male readers: Please scroll down.

>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>

The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife.

Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really smart.
Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show.

PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this, it only goes to show that you women never listen!

ROFL.. I got to send this to an ex- male colleague of mine. If you don't mind of course. He'll love it.

[Aston]

ROFL.. I got to send this to an ex- male colleague of mine

Is the colleague now female ?

[Lorns]

ROFL.. I got to send this to an ex- male colleague of mine

Is the colleague now female ?

He's in touch with his femine side, if that counts