TV Licence inspector came to visit me today! eek!

cwathen · Mon 23 May, 2005 20.58

What's the easiest way to get away with not having a TV licence?

When they turn up at your door and say 'We have no record of a valid TV licence at this address, can we please come in and inspect your property to confirm that you don't have any TV receiving equipment', just say the following:

"I'm afraid you can't inspect my premises. Please come back with a court order and a uniformed police officer". Then shut the door.

As well as getting you off the hook on the day, the said court order will never be served on you either; in order to get it, they need proof that you have been watching TV without a licence. Unless you're stupid enough to position your TV so that it can be clearly seen in operation from outside your house, they have no proof. 'Evidence' from a detection unit (those that are real that is, and not just empty transit vans) is not evidence at all and cannot be used in court against you - if it were then they'd be able to convict you purely on the basis of a detector van.

Sometimes, a generous court will issue an order on the basis that you have refused entry to them in the past. How do they prove you've refused entry? Because they ask you to sign a piece of paper confirming that you won't let them in! Refuse to sign that, and they have no proof! They can't argue in court that you've refused to let them in because it's your word against theirs!

Despite what they'd have you believe, TV licence evasion is amongst one of the simplest crimes in the world to commit without being caught; it's only the stupidity of people who let them in, or who fall to pieces and start coming out with lines like 'I only moved in today', or 'I only use the TV for watching videos' that deliver them convictions.

BTW, are you sure they really came around to visit you? I had what appeared to be a calling card left by TV licencing once which purported that they'd been around today and were coming back in a few days. I almost believed it - until I noticed tucked away discretely in one corner on the back of it was a royal mail postage paid licence number, then it struck me that my full postal address was printed on it - this 'calling card' actually just another automatically generated scaremongering letter sent through the post!

Incidentally, after you get the 'we came round and you were out. we're coming round again tomorrow' notice, they run out of things to send you, so the chain of letters loops around and you get the first politely worded letter enquiring as to whether or not you have a TV all over again!

Incidentally, where is my qualification from this? My first, and to date only, TV licence expired in June 2002. It's now May 2005. Have got to have had approaching 40 pieces of scaremongering mail now, actually had a TV licencing 'officer' at my front door twice.

Lorns · Mon 23 May, 2005 20.59

Yup! Go with Gavin's advice. It's the best advice that anyone on here has given you so far.

Jamez · Mon 23 May, 2005 21.13

I prefer Cwathens! Sounds much more fun and risky!

Lorns · Mon 23 May, 2005 21.22

Well you could always combine cwathen's advice with your idea of smearing chocolate spread over yourself and acting autistic for added fun.
I suppose stalling for time could work seeing as you'll be gone in three weeks any way. Have you found somewhere nice to move too, like a house full of female students?
I just think that £126 is alot easier to find than £1000.

cdd · Mon 23 May, 2005 21.28

cwathen wrote:What's the easiest way to get away with not having a TV licence?

When they turn up at your door and say 'We have no record of a valid TV licence at this address, can we please come in and inspect your property to confirm that you don't have any TV receiving equipment', just say the following:

"I'm afraid you can't inspect my premises. Please come back with a court order and a uniformed police officer". Then shut the door.

As well as getting you off the hook on the day, the said court order will never be served on you either; in order to get it, they need proof that you have been watching TV without a licence. Unless you're stupid enough to position your TV so that it can be clearly seen in operation from outside your house, they have no proof. 'Evidence' from a detection unit (those that are real that is, and not just empty transit vans) is not evidence at all and cannot be used in court against you - if it were then they'd be able to convict you purely on the basis of a detector van.

Sometimes, a generous court will issue an order on the basis that you have refused entry to them in the past. How do they prove you've refused entry? Because they ask you to sign a piece of paper confirming that you won't let them in! Refuse to sign that, and they have no proof! They can't argue in court that you've refused to let them in because it's your word against theirs!

Despite what they'd have you believe, TV licence evasion is amongst one of the simplest crimes in the world to commit without being caught; it's only the stupidity of people who let them in, or who fall to pieces and start coming out with lines like 'I only moved in today', or 'I only use the TV for watching videos' that deliver them convictions.

BTW, are you sure they really came around to visit you? I had what appeared to be a calling card left by TV licencing once which purported that they'd been around today and were coming back in a few days. I almost believed it - until I noticed tucked away discretely in one corner on the back of it was a royal mail postage paid licence number, then it struck me that my full postal address was printed on it - this 'calling card' actually just another automatically generated scaremongering letter sent through the post!

Incidentally, after you get the 'we came round and you were out. we're coming round again tomorrow' notice, they run out of things to send you, so the chain of letters loops around and you get the first politely worded letter enquiring as to whether or not you have a TV all over again!

Incidentally, where is my qualification from this? My first, and to date only, TV licence expired in June 2002. It's now May 2005. Have got to have had approaching 40 pieces of scaremongering mail now, actually had a TV licencing 'officer' at my front door twice.

Aaah yes, the empty transit vans! With the blacked out windows! They're just hilarious, aren't they. So obviously marked, too: "TV DETECTION - DETECTS TV'S"

But what happens if they simply remain at the door and refuse to leave?

Dr Lobster* · Mon 23 May, 2005 22.18

cdd wrote:But what happens if they simply remain at the door and refuse to leave?

i'd just leave them standing there - they'll need a shit eventually.

Chris · Mon 23 May, 2005 22.41

cdd wrote:Aaah yes, the empty transit vans! With the blacked out windows! They're just hilarious, aren't they. So obviously marked, too: "TV DETECTION - DETECTS TV'S"

But what happens if they simply remain at the door and refuse to leave?

What kind of gear do the real detector vans have inside?

Or are TV licensing detector vans an urban myth?

Jamez · Mon 23 May, 2005 22.45

A good thing about my street is that it's a dead end, on a very very steep hill, and my house is right at the top. You're not going to want to take a Transit van anywhere near my house because you'll never manouvre the damn thing!

Lee · Mon 23 May, 2005 23.06

My neighbour (not that one unfortunately) was fined for not having a TV license, and her name and address was put in the local paper. I also use to see a lot of posters at bus stops of the names and addresses of people that had been caught.

So be careful whatever you do

babyben · Mon 23 May, 2005 23.38

Bail · Tue 24 May, 2005 00.17

Lee wrote:My neighbour (not that one unfortunately)

Dam