What are the most stupid questions you've ever been asked?

[Nick Harvey]

I've never understood the logic behind those "new road layout" or "new signals" signs.

Either you use that road regularly, in which case you were held up in the temporary lights for weeks on end while they made the changes, so know all about it; or you use the road infrequently, or never before, in which case you don't remember what it USED to be like, making information on it being different totally unnecessary.

[tillyoshea]

The most stupid question I've ever been asked, which still results in mass hysteria at the mere mention of the topic, was: "What's pus?"

[Boughton]

The most stupid question I've ever been asked, which still results in mass hysteria at the mere mention of the topic, was: "What's pus?"

But did the questioner not know what pus was at all, or did they just not know what it actually consists of - as I'm not too sure of that myself: is it something like white blood cells used in fighting the infection from where the pus originates???

[tillyoshea]

The most stupid question I've ever been asked, which still results in mass hysteria at the mere mention of the topic, was: "What's pus?"

But did the questioner not know what pus was at all, or did they just not know what it actually consists of - as I'm not too sure of that myself: is it something like white blood cells used in fighting the infection from where the pus originates???

They actually didn't know what it was. At the time, I certainly didn't know what exactly it consists of, as it wasn't something I'd studied at that point. Now I can tell you that it contains, as you say, white blood cells, as well as fluid, immunoglobulins, sometimes fibrinogen, and other bits and pieces depending various factors, such as where it is, and why it's being formed.

[Andrew]

I've never understood the logic behind those "new road layout" or "new signals" signs.

Either you use that road regularly, in which case you were held up in the temporary lights for weeks on end while they made the changes, so know all about it; or you use the road infrequently, or never before, in which case you don't remember what it USED to be like, making information on it being different totally unnecessary.

I don't know about that, it might be a fairly major change such as the left hand lane now being for turn left only with straight on traffic having to use the middle lane.

This thread has now moved into it's third theme, dodgy road signs..

One I can't understand is a permanent fixed sign pointing out ice. Good one to see in the middle of a heat wave.

Falling rocks is another one, so? what can you do about it!

[Jamez]

Falling rocks is another one, so? what can you do about it!

By me the council have covered the entire side of a mountain in chicken wire to stop rocks falling onto the road below. Quite an impressive sight. Even more impressive is that none of it has been nicked!

[Johnny]

One in Witham has a picture of a duck in a red triangle which mean "Beware- Low flying Fowl" because of coruse you would be able to stop your car in time if ones is flying towards you.

Also theres one with a tank in a red triangle What's that for "beware war zone"

[Nick Harvey]

Even more impressive is that none of it has been nicked!

No chickens to nick it round your way, though, isn't it? Just sheep!

[cwathen]

One I can't understand is a permanent fixed sign pointing out ice. Good one to see in the middle of a heat wave.

Permanent fixed signs pointing out temporary conditions in general are an odd one.

At present I'm temporarily based in deepest Exmouth (move back to Plym on 28th May :) ) yet still commute to Plymouth to do my job and frequently do one half of the commute in the middle of the night. Driving past a sign declaring 'Delays Likely' at 3 O'Clock in the morning always makes me chuckle.

[Brad]

A GENUINE conversation that took place on the bus today between a middle aged English woman, and the driver.

Woman: Do I pay here?
Driver: Sorry?
Woman: Do I pay on the bus? Or when I get off?
Driver: No, you pay now.
Woman: I thought you might stamp my ticket during the journey or something.
Driver: Well, no, I'll be driving. Where to?
Woman: I'd like to go to Tescos please.
Driver: £1.30
Woman: And can I pay to come back as well?
Driver: You want a return?
Woman: I want to go to Tescos, and then when I've finished shopping, I want to come back here.
Driver: Yeah, a return. (Reads lists) One return to Tescos... £2.20.
Woman: Oh no! Not a return to Tescos! I don't live at Tescos, I live here. I want to come back here after I've finished shopping!
Driver: Yes, that means a RETURN to Tescos. £2.20 please.
Woman: I only have a twenty pound note.
[The driver manages to give her change from a twenty. At this point a man and two children follow her to where she is sitting. The driver calls back to them]
Driver: Excuse me, have you got a ticket?
Man: We're with her.
Driver: Have you paid?
Woman: (Calling back to driver) No, I've just paid you. £2.20 you said.
Driver: That's just for you! You didn't say you want four returns!
Woman: I don't, I only want to go once.
Driver: Yes, but there's FOUR of you! Each of you must pay separately!
[After much fiddling about, all four family member are seated. The driver drives off.]
Woman: Do I have to tap on the window or come and get you when we get to Tescos?

And so on, and so on and so on...
There's two Tescos' in York. Knowing her luck it'll be the wrong one she ends up at!

[Sput]

A GENUINE conversation that took place on the bus today between a middle aged English woman, and the driver.

Woman: Do I pay here?
Driver: Sorry?
Woman: Do I pay on the bus? Or when I get off?
Driver: No, you pay now.
Woman: I thought you might stamp my ticket during the journey or something.
Driver: Well, no, I'll be driving. Where to?
Woman: I'd like to go to Tescos please.
Driver: £1.30
Woman: And can I pay to come back as well?
Driver: You want a return?
Woman: I want to go to Tescos, and then when I've finished shopping, I want to come back here.
Driver: Yeah, a return. (Reads lists) One return to Tescos... £2.20.
Woman: Oh no! Not a return to Tescos! I don't live at Tescos, I live here. I want to come back here after I've finished shopping!
Driver: Yes, that means a RETURN to Tescos. £2.20 please.
Woman: I only have a twenty pound note.
[The driver manages to give her change from a twenty. At this point a man and two children follow her to where she is sitting. The driver calls back to them]
Driver: Excuse me, have you got a ticket?
Man: We're with her.
Driver: Have you paid?
Woman: (Calling back to driver) No, I've just paid you. £2.20 you said.
Driver: That's just for you! You didn't say you want four returns!
Woman: I don't, I only want to go once.
Driver: Yes, but there's FOUR of you! Each of you must pay separately!
[After much fiddling about, all four family member are seated. The driver drives off.]
Woman: Do I have to tap on the window or come and get you when we get to Tescos?

And so on, and so on and so on...
There's two Tescos' in York. Knowing her luck it'll be the wrong one she ends up at!

Christ, imagine the queue at the checkout. We can only hope she doesn't take a trolley and credit card to the basket cash-only one!