Isonstine wrote:Well, I'm extremely annoyed - and incredibly stressed at the moment as YET AGAIN I have become the casualty of workplace back-stabbing.
Here's what I've always done in those circumstances, and it works a treat. Allow me to script it out for you.
Boss: Robert, you're underperforming.
Me: (shocked look) Really? I had no idea I was doing so poorly.
Boss: Well, you are, so shape up.
Me: (pouring it on) I wish I knew what I was doing wrong so I could properly correct my behaviour.
Boss: Well, you smashed the coffeepot yesterday ...
Me: I most certainly did not! So-and-so dropped it, and I tried to catch it as it fell!
Boss: I see! Well, you're not turning things in on time ...
Me: Then I'll have to ask you to help me manage my time, because all the assignments
you're giving me seem to be preventing me from doing everything else I'm supposed to.
Boss: Right. Uh ...
Me: I'm sorry I'm doing so badly. It's clearly a character fault.
Boss: No, it's not that, it's just that ...
Me: (thickly now) No, no -- I know I have some problems, but I just don't feel like I'm respected around the office, and it makes it difficult to stay motivated.
Boss: Really?
Me: Yes ... it's that fat cow of a woman who keeps telling on me ...
And so forth. Turn it right around on them. It's fun! Try it at your next performance review.
