For those who don't know, one of the subjects I'm doing for my A levels is Theatre Studies. Well naturally, doing such a course, we regularly go and see theatre productions. Sadly this does mean that you're prone to see some complete crap.
Well last night lads for the sixth form drove (our drivings another thread all-together) to Bracknell, a shit-hole itself, to see a production called 'Our Country's Good', a deceiving title itself and a play which had fabulous potential. It's just a shame it had been cast by imbeciles. Areas had the possibility to be bloody funny, yet they couldn't deliver a line for shit. Poignant moments were completely trodden into the floor due to one turret suffering actor bellowing from the other end of the stage.
The interval came so it's straight to the bar for a pint and fag (I needed it). Apart from talking about the latest ciggy adverts with the greece coming out of them on telly, my drama teacher, other students and myself were all joined, for once, in the opinion that the play was awful.
Me and a mate made a truce for the second half. If it was still crap by 9.55pm we'd go for a fag, so we'd give it an extra 15 minutes chance. Of course it wasn't and me and my friend ended up having a long conversation with the person behind the bar and me and her later swapped details. I learnt much more, and was far greatly interested in her two years she spent working in Japan and her plan's for the future than the narcoleptic-drivel on stage below.
I actually could not believe how shit the play was. I think it is even impossible for a group of Yr8's to make a production so piss-poor. Have you ever gone to see something at the theatre/cinema, and just thought, what the hell am I doing here?
Shit theatre productions
In Year 9 I went to see 'Romeo and Juliet' by a group called Box Clever in Newbury. It was probably the worst play I've ever seen in my life. There was no scenery, no props, just a metal staircase. Even the teachers complained about how shite it was.
I took my Dad to see an amateur production of an Agatha Christie play at Leeds Civic Theatre. Turned out to be one of the most hilarious nights of my life.
I mean, we weren't expecting the Royal Shakespeare Company; in fact I was anticipating an evening of private amusement anyway. But the cherry on the cake was when, before the curtain went up, a chap came out and announced that one of the actresses was ill, and her part would be "read on" by a stagehand.
What he didn't say was that the actress had been due to play the role of the gorgeous daughter of the local bigwig, and that it would be "read on" by an elderly male stagehand wearing his own overalls and, I kid you not, a wide brimmed, veiled straw wedding hat. Nor did he mention that said stout party, for he was, would "read on" the part by standing immobile in the centre of the stage and declaiming her part in a very broad Yorkshire accent.
Pant-wettingly funny, and the audience gave up trying to stifle the laughter after about twenty minutes, went strangely quiet whenever he was not on stage, and applauded him loudly whenever he re-emerged.
Fantastic.
I mean, we weren't expecting the Royal Shakespeare Company; in fact I was anticipating an evening of private amusement anyway. But the cherry on the cake was when, before the curtain went up, a chap came out and announced that one of the actresses was ill, and her part would be "read on" by a stagehand.
What he didn't say was that the actress had been due to play the role of the gorgeous daughter of the local bigwig, and that it would be "read on" by an elderly male stagehand wearing his own overalls and, I kid you not, a wide brimmed, veiled straw wedding hat. Nor did he mention that said stout party, for he was, would "read on" the part by standing immobile in the centre of the stage and declaiming her part in a very broad Yorkshire accent.
Pant-wettingly funny, and the audience gave up trying to stifle the laughter after about twenty minutes, went strangely quiet whenever he was not on stage, and applauded him loudly whenever he re-emerged.
Fantastic.
At school I was taken to see a Bhangra version of A Midsummer Nights Dream. It was rubbish.
NEW improved BBC Sport Interactive listings for DigiGuide TV Guide.
Lol! I would have loved to have seen that! Purely for comic value. I saw Bombay Dreams a few weeks ago. Was excellent. This is a thread I made at the time.dvboy wrote:At school I was taken to see a Bhangra version of A Midsummer Nights Dream. It was rubbish.
-
Cheese Head
- Banned
- Posts: 918
- Joined: Fri 15 Aug, 2003 13.39
- Location: Rockhampton, Australia
This wasn't a theater production, but it was a movie. And it was shit.
The shape of things.
Ok, at the first second it started our immediate thoughts where "Agh! Period Drama" which wasn't a genre that popped up in the pre-previews conversation.
Anyway, this movie wasn't a period drama, it was boring. A total of 4 people speak throughout, and the concept was a rare one to see portrayed at the cinema (IMO anyway) , and it carried on as if the movie was just starting, it never really amounted to anything and as it turns out, the other two people arn't really important.
This girl is in a musem and she was viewing that famous Michael Angelo (what was this called? David wasnt it...?) sculpture, with his penis coverd by a leaf. Being an art student at the college near to this museum, she felt it was her duty to spraypaint the penis onto it, after much conversation with the security guard.
Well, the girl hooks up with this geeky security guard and she moulds him into her perfect image. Infact, she moulds him into her Art project.
So long story short: Girl meets guy. Girl uses guy as her art project.
If they remade the movie there's even bits you couldve kept, like the guy has her initials tattoed onto him, and they film them having sex - as part of the project of hers.
That picture of me they're shows a thumbs up and a somewhat cheesy grin, but this movie is something to avoid. The name again, "The shape of things".
The shape of things.
Ok, at the first second it started our immediate thoughts where "Agh! Period Drama" which wasn't a genre that popped up in the pre-previews conversation.
Anyway, this movie wasn't a period drama, it was boring. A total of 4 people speak throughout, and the concept was a rare one to see portrayed at the cinema (IMO anyway) , and it carried on as if the movie was just starting, it never really amounted to anything and as it turns out, the other two people arn't really important.
This girl is in a musem and she was viewing that famous Michael Angelo (what was this called? David wasnt it...?) sculpture, with his penis coverd by a leaf. Being an art student at the college near to this museum, she felt it was her duty to spraypaint the penis onto it, after much conversation with the security guard.
Well, the girl hooks up with this geeky security guard and she moulds him into her perfect image. Infact, she moulds him into her Art project.
So long story short: Girl meets guy. Girl uses guy as her art project.
If they remade the movie there's even bits you couldve kept, like the guy has her initials tattoed onto him, and they film them having sex - as part of the project of hers.
That picture of me they're shows a thumbs up and a somewhat cheesy grin, but this movie is something to avoid. The name again, "The shape of things".
» James »
I don't know my future after this weekend, and I don't want to
I don't know my future after this weekend, and I don't want to
.The worst play I have ever seen has to be "An Inspector Calls" at some theatre just by that temporary footbridge to Waterloo (dunno if it's still there ?).
Everything of it was completely shite, including the acting and the set. However there was one bit at the end that was quite good - the 'house' set tipped forward and everything on it slid off and crashed onto the ground.
Everything of it was completely shite, including the acting and the set. However there was one bit at the end that was quite good - the 'house' set tipped forward and everything on it slid off and crashed onto the ground.
Fantastic Play and wonderful productionChris wrote:The worst play I have ever seen has to be "An Inspector Calls" at some theatre just by that temporary footbridge to Waterloo (dunno if it's still there ?).
Everything of it was completely shite, including the acting and the set. However there was one bit at the end that was quite good - the 'house' set tipped forward and everything on it slid off and crashed onto the ground.
-
Ed Hammond
- Posts: 90
- Joined: Fri 15 Aug, 2003 13.59
- Location: London
I went to see an abysmal production of Henry V in Stratford about six or seven years ago, when I was in Sixth year. The acting was terrible, the set was terrible, and the costumes were terrible - a mix of modern dress and period (well, you know what morons the RSC tend to be when it comes to costume choices).
Of course, truly crap theatre has now been forever immortalised by the Legz Akimbo Theatre Company in the League of Gentlemen. Pure genius.
Of course, truly crap theatre has now been forever immortalised by the Legz Akimbo Theatre Company in the League of Gentlemen. Pure genius.