He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty footballer

[James H]

It may have escaped your attention – and, it’s hard to see how it would have – but sportsmen have been quite naughty recently. First there were the allegations that former England captain John Terry had played away with his balls firmly in (now former) teammate Wayne Bridge’s ex-girlfriend’s net, breaking around the same time that famous black golfer (because he’s black, by the way - he’s a black golfer, you know, don’t forget that) and family guy Tiger Woods had been caught sneaking around a few of his own holes. And just the other day, news that famous mime artist Cheryl Cole was leaving injured black footballer (he’s black too, you know, and the joke sites aren’t letting us forget that either) after he was caught in the press having sent photos of his dick to slags. No, I couldn’t think of a decent analogy for the last one.

Things reached an embarrassing new low this week when Wayne Bridge announced he wouldn’t be playing for England in the upcoming Egypt friendly, nor would he be joining the team in South Africa for the World Cup. Now, there’s my first gripe; I’m well aware that John Terry’s been a naughty boy, and I wouldn’t seek to defend him for one moment. But Bridge taking this sort of extra-curricular scuffle onto the pitch has blown the entire scandal out of proportion. We have all heard stories of how depraved football can be. When we think footballers, we think big money and orange wives and girlfriends (and maybe football too). So I find it utterly inconceivable that Bridge and Terry have not managed to have a conversation, verbal or physical, about the issue since it first arose. People shagging other peoples’ best mates are on Jeremy Kyle all the time – so if it can work for them, why not for footballers, who could pay to make their own show?

It really insults millions of fans who are looking forward to England’s start at the World Cup. Whether Terry is a cheat or not, the fact is that fans pay millions towards these men in season tickets and beyond, hoping for a glimpse of their idols on the pitch, doing what they are supposedly passionate about. For Bridge to take himself out of the running of the England team is not only doing a disservice to himself, but it’s also doing a massive disservice to his individual fans. He has every right to be angry – of course he does – but it’s unfair to take that out on the people who can be incredibly understanding or incredibly pissed off; the fans. John Terry has been publicly humiliated – and that’s good enough. All he needs to do now is keep his balls on the pitch. Come on Wayne, pull yourself together, have a gentlemanly word with Terry, and get your act sorted for the World Cup. It’s the least you owe your supporters.

Anyway, that rant over, it takes me onto a larger point. The reason cited for a lot of this media furore is that those in question have supposedly messed up their “idol” status; they are now no longer role models to children, adults and the mental. But were they ever? Knowing what we know about the media now, and how television and the press work, how can we know for sure that Tiger was really a “family man”, or any of that bollocks? For the most part, what we see on screen and in the pages of newspapers is a carefully-kept reputation built up by PR departments, hired by the stars in question, to build their reputation. Politicians do it all the time; David Cameron, Tony Blair and others have hired voice coaches, consultants, journalists and indeed members of their party to help them portray the role they’d like to play. So why are we surprised when this facade is torn down and destroyed?

Are we really as gullible as the media want us to be? At first glance, one would have thought in the era of cynicism in which we live, we question authority at every step. But take another look. I’ll use the recent “bullying Brown” scandal to justify my viewpoint. We start with disillusioned voters and journalists, eager for a story. When the news first hit the stands last Monday that Gordon Brown had allegedly been involved in incidents behind the doors of 10 Downing Street, the ‘public’ supposedly went into outcry. Or did they? Did they merely hold an existing viewpoint, and the stories purported by the media back them up? Did they buy everything that our esteemed journalists wrote and form a viewpoint largely based on conjecture? Cynical? Questioning authority? Ha. The media claim to question authority on our behalf, but in reality, there’s a new type of authority being built up – the question of ‘trustworthiness’ and ‘authoritative news’ springs to mind – and who are we to question that? We’re only the plebs who buy it.

So in the end, who can you trust? The celebrities? Nope. They’re not real. The media? Nope – they’re mostly the reason that the celebrities aren’t real. Your friends? Nope. They’re always looking for someone more interesting. Your partner? Maybe, at a pinch, but even then, you get very defensive when they say someone else looks pretty or fit. Your mum and dad? Like hell. They lied to you for years about Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. I guess we’d all better go back to worshipping the Sun and the weather then. But wait – look at Madeira, and the snow, and sunburn... it doesn’t matter who you trust – you’re always fucked.

Comments, as always, appreciated - and sorry I've posted this on here again. I'm too busy to do a blog and have three hours to kill on a train. Let the fact that it's almost the weekend heal your wounds.

[all new Phil]

I'd quite like to know how to go about getting my number into Ashley Cole's phone book, if I'm honest.

[Jovis]

It really insults millions of fans who are looking forward to England’s start at the World Cup. Whether Terry is a cheat or not, the fact is that fans pay millions towards these men in season tickets and beyond, hoping for a glimpse of their idols on the pitch, doing what they are supposedly passionate about. For Bridge to take himself out of the running of the England team is not only doing a disservice to himself, but it’s also doing a massive disservice to his individual fans. He has every right to be angry – of course he does – but it’s unfair to take that out on the people who can be incredibly understanding or incredibly pissed off; the fans. John Terry has been publicly humiliated – and that’s good enough. All he needs to do now is keep his balls on the pitch. Come on Wayne, pull yourself together, have a gentlemanly word with Terry, and get your act sorted for the World Cup. It’s the least you owe your supporters.

I do love the notion that everybody except Wayne Bridge knows what's best for Wayne Bridge.

[DVB Cornwall]

It's not the issue of the infidelity that gets me, it's the 'abuse' of the system by Terry to attempt to cover it all up that annoys me and makes me side with Bridge.

[James H]

It really insults millions of fans who are looking forward to England’s start at the World Cup. Whether Terry is a cheat or not, the fact is that fans pay millions towards these men in season tickets and beyond, hoping for a glimpse of their idols on the pitch, doing what they are supposedly passionate about. For Bridge to take himself out of the running of the England team is not only doing a disservice to himself, but it’s also doing a massive disservice to his individual fans. He has every right to be angry – of course he does – but it’s unfair to take that out on the people who can be incredibly understanding or incredibly pissed off; the fans. John Terry has been publicly humiliated – and that’s good enough. All he needs to do now is keep his balls on the pitch. Come on Wayne, pull yourself together, have a gentlemanly word with Terry, and get your act sorted for the World Cup. It’s the least you owe your supporters.

I do love the notion that everybody except Wayne Bridge knows what's best for Wayne Bridge.

Yes - because who in a state of emotional vulnerability or anger truly knows what's best for themselves?

The missed handshake at the Chelsea match was also hugely immature - grow the fuck up, gentlemen both!

[Alexia]

It really insults millions of fans who are looking forward to England’s start at the World Cup. Whether Terry is a cheat or not, the fact is that fans pay millions towards these men in season tickets and beyond, hoping for a glimpse of their idols on the pitch, doing what they are supposedly passionate about. For Bridge to take himself out of the running of the England team is not only doing a disservice to himself, but it’s also doing a massive disservice to his individual fans. He has every right to be angry – of course he does – but it’s unfair to take that out on the people who can be incredibly understanding or incredibly pissed off; the fans. John Terry has been publicly humiliated – and that’s good enough. All he needs to do now is keep his balls on the pitch. Come on Wayne, pull yourself together, have a gentlemanly word with Terry, and get your act sorted for the World Cup. It’s the least you owe your supporters.

I do love the notion that everybody except Wayne Bridge knows what's best for Wayne Bridge.

Yes - because who in a state of emotional vulnerability or anger truly knows what's best for themselves?

The missed handshake at the Chelsea match was also hugely immature - grow the fuck up, gentlemen both!

There is no-one on this Earth who deserves to tell Wayne Bridge how to behave apart from Wayne Bridge himself, least of all you. If it had been you, what would you have done? Shaken hands with your former best mate who screwed your missus/man behind your back like nothing had even happened? I'm surprised Bridge didn't spit at his feet or eyeball him or something. All is fair in love and war, and Terry deserves every bit of disrespect he gets in my opinion.

On the other hand, why the hell should I care what these jumped up over-paid pretty boys get up to? I've never been to a professional football match in my life so I have the comfort that none of my personal moolah has fed their disgustingly over-preening lifestyles.

[DVB Cornwall]

Agree Alexia it is most grown up to show distrust and dislike rather than give the 'political response' of covering differences up for show. Well done Wayne Bridge today, and indeed for withdrawing from the England Squad. Maybe Terry might get an injury and enable Bridge to return to the World Cup squad accordingly. Today's result was justice too in my view.

[James H]

Yes - because who in a state of emotional vulnerability or anger truly knows what's best for themselves?

The missed handshake at the Chelsea match was also hugely immature - grow the fuck up, gentlemen both!

There is no-one on this Earth who deserves to tell Wayne Bridge how to behave apart from Wayne Bridge himself, least of all you. If it had been you, what would you have done? Shaken hands with your former best mate who screwed your missus/man behind your back like nothing had even happened? I'm surprised Bridge didn't spit at his feet or eyeball him or something. All is fair in love and war, and Terry deserves every bit of disrespect he gets in my opinion.

On the other hand, why the hell should I care what these jumped up over-paid pretty boys get up to? I've never been to a professional football match in my life so I have the comfort that none of my personal moolah has fed their disgustingly over-preening lifestyles.

A few points. First of all, no need for the mindless quip about "least of all you". I have my opinion and Voltaire agrees that I have the right to express it. Ta. Secondly, Perroncel was NOT Wayne Bridge's 'missus'. She was his ex-girlfriend. Granted, mates' honour and all that, but it's all been taken ridiculously far. Thirdly, your "on the other hand" really makes the fact you've commented on what I've said a moot point - why bother if you're not interested?

[Alexia]

A few points. First of all, no need for the mindless quip about "least of all you". I have my opinion and Voltaire agrees that I have the right to express it. Ta.

Granted, and I would never prevent you from airing an opinion. You are however then suggesting a course of action based on your opinion that you feel Bridge should take, when all you know of the decision is what has been reported in the media. My point was that we only know a fraction of the story - the fraction which has been heavily filtered between Bridge and us through the various layers inbetween. Judging his resulting actions (as opposed to the event itself) to be wrong is, in my opinion, not for us to do.

Secondly, Perroncel was NOT Wayne Bridge's 'missus'. She was his ex-girlfriend. Granted, mates' honour and all that, but it's all been taken ridiculously far.

She's also the mother of his child. Puts an extra emotional level on it I feel. Plus there's an additional financial aspect too:

Bridge is due before the family division of Epsom County Court on March 25 for a hearing to decide how much he must pay Miss Perroncel. He is expected to argue his regular payments for their son should be cut because of her indiscretions. His lawyers are expected to demand to know Miss Perroncel’s income – including any pay-off from Terry to stop her from selling her story. -- Daily Heil.

Thirdly, your "on the other hand" really makes the fact you've commented on what I've said a moot point - why bother if you're not interested?

Cos I've got a big mouth.

[cdd]

I thought the deal was that all these go in this thread?

[Beep]

I thought the deal was that all these go in this thread?

I agree, why have another thread. Afraid you won't get heard in just one?