Metropol

The other day this exciting email arrived complete with an advert for rooms-to-let.com

Hi Dave,

Yes Rooms To Let has been up and running for almost 2 years now. We are currently getting over 500,000 hits, that puts us in the top 3 websites for finding roommates.

Let me know how the marketing budget should be allocated for the 3rd and 4th quarters of 2006.

Best Regards

John.

Who's Dave? Or John?

And why should Dave allocate budgets when he's not even familiar with the website?

and then Andrea chimes in with

Hello, Please I will like to find a place for renting(home/house)where my son can stay for 3 weeks of his course in your country. Please i will be very glad if you can find him a place as a helping hand and i am willing to pay you for the assistance 200 weekly and also i am willing to pay 300 as the weekly payment throughout his stay for holiday overthere. Kindly get back to me if you can give a helping hand and also you can let me know how much for the rentage if the payment if highly and also let me know the type of house/home which you can get for him too. Thanks and write back asap. Andrea Franklin

Coincedental spam? My email address is nowhere at all on that website and it's all rather strange

You weirdo.

I get similar emails from sites which I never even visited and from people who i dont know who try to have a conversation over emails.

The lastest one have been anonymus eBay members saying something along the lines of:

I still have not recieved the item. Please send it or I will be filing a report

Not only have I not sold anything to these people, but half of them have been banned for a while.

Pidgeons4Justice?

Does anybody ever get emails about Viagra? I used to get loads of them. It was spam, honestly!

I get racing e-mails a lot for some reason.

I got this one a couple of weeks back:

FROM: natasha **** (***********@hotmail.co.uk)
TO: antz @hotmail.co.uk
SUBJECT: (No Subject)

hi babe owz u. I m so bored at college so wat u up to on weekend lol . me sophie laine mabye james john mit b going ice sk8ing .

Here's an interesting question: the point of disguising the word "Viagra" as e.g. vlagra or whatever, is to avoid spam filters. However what's the poitn in this? Surely you may indeed get through to these people but if they are using spam filters that's a conscious decision, and surely they're not going to be interested in your product.

I have been sent numerous holiday photos from an asian lady. Would it be inappropriate to post them here?

This made me laugh:

Are you feeling shy over your inability to get much
more than a semi-hard-on in the sack??
Do you feel depressed because of your ED problem???
Now here's the perfect solution for you - Viagra.
It is truly a "Wonder Drug of the 90s."

or:

Yo Grigori,
Listen up, Dalton told me couple hrs ago that ur partner been complaining with u . I can for sure, assist u with that.

Come see http://URL DELETED. their and believing sitting
forever Jack Coffey up gluttonous at was Bury
See ya
Dalton

dont quite get that one????

Surprisingly enough, after changing from AOL to Tiscali and getting my AOL account changed to Anytime, I occasionally go onto my AOL email account, and there are between 20-35 emails about nothing.

Amazingly, I get no spam with Tiscali. Only the odd advert, like Seat or Playboy....

Before I met my lovely fiance, I met a girl from a dating website and we seemed to get along rather well.

We met, had a laugh and I gave her a snog from the Gods later on. However, the bitch wouldn't let me come around to hers at the end of the night.

The one date turned out to be the only one. We had the odd flirtation on text message but I got sick of the stuck-up cow's insistance that I text her before she text me.

Things fizzled out.

Then, four months later, she is having a conversation with another guy from the same website. She "accidentally" pastes me into the conversation.

What is that all about?

I've never had a mis-sent email. I do get a lot of spam to my Gmail account, though. CheapFlights.co.uk is terrible for spam. I've tried removing myself from their mailing list several times, but yet the spam keeps on coming.