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Suboptimal intelligence indicators

Posted: Wed 08 Jun, 2005 22.49
by Dr Lobster*
Some politically correct will say stereotypes are evil; I say they are a useful way for generic categorisation which are seldom incorrect.
In recent weeks, I have been paying attention to specific traits which seem to be consistently present in individuals lacking in intellect.

LEXUS STYLE REAR LIGHTS ON VEHICLES
We’ve all seen them; an old car (usually Vauxhall or Peugeot) sporting rear lights which clearly do not suit the type of car they are fitted to. I’m not entirely sure why people do this.

CONSPICUOUS TATTOOS
These range from images of flowers on the breast/back to a pointless Celtic or oriental symbol. These have no meaning, and are indicative of somebody who follows the crowd.

INCONSISTENT USE OF DESIGNER LABELS
For instance, people who carry a Burberry handbag costing £200 or more, who at the same time wear an outfit from new look are clearly moronic in nature.
Furthermore, I cannot accept somebody would spot an accessory emblazoned with a Louis Vuitton or Burberry print and seriously believe it looks good. It doesn’t.

BASEBALL CAPS
I’ve yet to meet anybody under the age of 30 I’d describe as intelligent wearing baseball cap.

JEWELLERY
Excessive amounts of any type seem to be an indicator of academic retardation.

INVALID ASPIRATIONS
Individuals who aspire to owning a Vauxhall Calibre, becoming a night-club DJ or holiday rep also seem to be three porkpies short of a buffet.

HAIR
Those who model themselves on icons of popular culture have something going on up top which needs to be addressed. Remember that horrible bleached streak Beckham had a few years ago, for instance?

LANGUAGE
We’ve all been known to throw the odd profanity into the conversation for effect, but those who use four letter words consistently are clearly uneducated.

Those are the main ones I’ve spotted – you have any more to add which i've missed?

Posted: Wed 08 Jun, 2005 22.54
by Gavin Scott
Men who walk with their feet pointing at 10-to-2 are seldom gay. Similarly those who walk leading by the chin whilst bouncing on the ball of their feet.

Don't ask me how I arrived at that but I know it's true.

EDIT: Which has nothing to do with the actual topic here.

So you can have that one for free.

Posted: Wed 08 Jun, 2005 22.56
by Nick Harvey
With the possible exception of the last one on that fucking list, that makes me the most intelligent person on this planet.

Mind you, I always THOUGHT that was the case!

Posted: Wed 08 Jun, 2005 23.16
by Fireboy
Dunno if this counts... but people who wear hats in a car are always terrible drivers :roll: .

Posted: Wed 08 Jun, 2005 23.40
by Chris
People who smoke like chimneys and speak in a more "common" accent with a tendancy not to say words "properly" in combination with at least one or more of the above often tend to be lacking in education or manners.

Posted: Wed 08 Jun, 2005 23.54
by Jamez
Chris wrote:People who smoke like chimneys and speak in a more "common" accent with a tendancy not to say words "properly" in combination with at least one or more of the above often tend to be lacking in education or manners.
Don't assume that everyone who smokes speaks lazily. Many of the most well-spoken people you hear on radio and television are smokers.

Posted: Thu 09 Jun, 2005 00.54
by iSon
Jamez wrote:
Chris wrote:People who smoke like chimneys and speak in a more "common" accent with a tendancy not to say words "properly" in combination with at least one or more of the above often tend to be lacking in education or manners.
Don't assume that everyone who smokes speaks lazily. Many of the most well-spoken people you hear on radio and television are smokers.
Amen to that!

Re: Suboptimal intelligence indicators

Posted: Thu 09 Jun, 2005 06.32
by Purpleduck
Dr Lobster* wrote:Some politically correct will say stereotypes are evil; I say they are a useful way for generic categorisation which are seldom incorrect.
In recent weeks, I have been paying attention to specific traits which seem to be consistently present in individuals lacking in intellect.

LEXUS STYLE REAR LIGHTS ON VEHICLES
We’ve all seen them; an old car (usually Vauxhall or Peugeot) sporting rear lights which clearly do not suit the type of car they are fitted to. I’m not entirely sure why people do this.

CONSPICUOUS TATTOOS
These range from images of flowers on the breast/back to a pointless Celtic or oriental symbol. These have no meaning, and are indicative of somebody who follows the crowd.

INCONSISTENT USE OF DESIGNER LABELS
For instance, people who carry a Burberry handbag costing £200 or more, who at the same time wear an outfit from new look are clearly moronic in nature.
Furthermore, I cannot accept somebody would spot an accessory emblazoned with a Louis Vuitton or Burberry print and seriously believe it looks good. It doesn’t.

BASEBALL CAPS
I’ve yet to meet anybody under the age of 30 I’d describe as intelligent wearing baseball cap.

JEWELLERY
Excessive amounts of any type seem to be an indicator of academic retardation.

INVALID ASPIRATIONS
Individuals who aspire to owning a Vauxhall Calibre, becoming a night-club DJ or holiday rep also seem to be three porkpies short of a buffet.

HAIR
Those who model themselves on icons of popular culture have something going on up top which needs to be addressed. Remember that horrible bleached streak Beckham had a few years ago, for instance?

LANGUAGE
We’ve all been known to throw the odd profanity into the conversation for effect, but those who use four letter words consistently are clearly uneducated.

Those are the main ones I’ve spotted – you have any more to add which i've missed?
Been visiting Norwich recently?! 8)

CAR STEREOS
People who have an "in car entertainment system" ie ridiculously loud bass etc, that is clearly worth more than the vehicle they have fitted it in. This is made worse by those who decide to advertise said fact with a large "Pioneer" or Kenwood" sticker in the back window.

DOGS
People who own dogs solely for the image they potray (or at least THINK they portay) ie, pitbulls, rottweillers.

Posted: Thu 09 Jun, 2005 12.53
by Cheese Head
Hmm... Pretty Boys always sxeem to think theyre above everybody in there damned pink shirts... i hate those pink shirts!!

Posted: Thu 09 Jun, 2005 13.40
by Jamez
Cheese Head wrote:Hmm... Pretty Boys always sxeem to think theyre above everybody in there damned pink shirts... i hate those pink shirts!!
For once I agree!

I drive through town, and the chavs now seem to be wearing those god-awful pink t-shirts from Burton/Top Man.

I predict that Burton/Top Man clothing is to become the new Burberry. :shock: :shock: :shock:

Posted: Thu 09 Jun, 2005 15.02
by Spencer For Hire
Fireboy wrote:Dunno if this counts... but people who wear hats in a car are always terrible drivers :roll: .
That's so true, whether it's an old gimmer with a flat cap doing 30mph on the motorway in a silver Honda Accord, or a chav in a baseball cap doing 90 round the town centre in a body-kitted Vauxhall Nova.

Talking of wanky car modifications, I saw a white Vauxhall Corsa the other day with the usual spoilers, body kit, tinted windows, etc., but on the back window, he had a pretend rev counter, with stuck-on numbers in a semi-circle, and a white strip on the rear wiper to look like the pointer. The sad thing is, he's probably the envy of his friends.