Metropol

We have become concerned with reports of mass obesity on the forums with members known to munch on Turkish delights and crunchies in their hundreds. In one instance, a forum member was known to have consumed 142 ½ Curly Wurly’s…in one go!

So I am instigating a health watch here on Metropol to assess the level of health amongst our members. Your body mass index is a useful tool in measuring health by placing your weight against your height.

Anyone who registers over 30 will automatically be booked in to have their stomach removed.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/healthy_liv ... ndex.shtml

Lets stamp out the fat!

This is what I got...

Your BMI result is:
18.67

You are in the healthy weight range.

Made a mistake the first time! Said I was underweight. Healthy's good.

Please pass on any removed stomachs to myself, as I seem to have the opposite problem. No matter how many Mars bars I eat, I will not put on weight. In fact, I feel there is a trick being played on me that says I lose weight the more I eat. It really is quite ridiculous and I want to know what's going on.

In fact, whenever I used to look up those coloured charts in GCSE Food Technology textbooks that told most people to "Stop eating you fat tosser", I wouldn't even get in the green bit. I'd sit nicely underneath that in the uncoloured bit that said "DANGEROUSLY UNDERWEIGHT - SEE DIETICIAN NOW BEFORE YOU DISAPPEAR". I liked the way it was uncoloured as though they didn't know what to colour it - it was so good it was bad.

Now though, it would appear my BMI is 21.32 - nicely in the "Ideal" section. That's a pleasant surprise, although I've not got any wider.

I'm going to join me a gym over my exam leave...

I was born a fat bastard, and I dont intend to spend my entire life trying to make people feel sorry for me.

For the past three days I've ate nothing but junk - and I'm totally now kicking myself for it. It's because on Friday, the school had nothing but crap to sell. Saturday was a school trip - its like the culture of things to eat bad food and drink coffee (and smoke a cigar at the services haha). Today, I was at work. I work for an overpriced supermarket food diner... my break consists of shit food. Fun.

But during the week I'lll have an apple for breakfest and barely eat alot through the day.

But, again, starving yourself not the key to being healthy...exercise too.

I know im rambling, but im tired... I knowi've left myself open for alot of shit, but, to be honest, I really dont care.

DAS wrote:Please pass on any removed stomachs to myself, as I seem to have the opposite problem. No matter how many Mars bars I eat, I will not put on weight. In fact, I feel there is a trick being played on me that says I lose weight the more I eat. It really is quite ridiculous and I want to know what's going on.

In fact, whenever I used to look up those coloured charts in GCSE Food Technology textbooks that told most people to "Stop eating you fat tosser", I wouldn't even get in the green bit. I'd sit nicely underneath that in the uncoloured bit that said "DANGEROUSLY UNDERWEIGHT - SEE DIETICIAN NOW BEFORE YOU DISAPPEAR". I liked the way it was uncoloured as though they didn't know what to colour it - it was so good it was bad.

Now though, it would appear my BMI is 21.32 - nicely in the "Ideal" section. That's a pleasant surprise, although I've not got any wider.

I used to know people like you at school. When they'd turn sideways the teacher would mark them absent.

I am a firm believer that one of the best ways to loose weight is simply to eat less. Quantity is often the hardest thing to regulate with our meals but really there is no need to fill your plate to the brim with food when you know you are unlikely to ever burn it off!

i follow the widdecombe diet of "a small amount of very tasty food".

DAS wrote:Please pass on any removed stomachs to myself, as I seem to have the opposite problem. No matter how many Mars bars I eat, I will not put on weight. In fact, I feel there is a trick being played on me that says I lose weight the more I eat. It really is quite ridiculous and I want to know what's going on.

It's all to do with metabolism, for which you have a fast one! You burn the calories quickly. If you really were wanting to put on weight for whatever reason (some people do), you'd have to make sure you're eating a high calorific diet - much more than you're currently used to. A bit of weight training and lots of protein on top would add to your size and hence weight.

Snu wrote: Quantity is often the hardest thing to regulate with our meals but really there is no need to fill your plate to the brim with food when you know you are unlikely to ever burn it off!

Ha, thats what our greedy bastard relatives do.

I'm not skinny and I'm not fat...I've got a couple of pounds to shed around my tummy, and face (I want my fab cheekbones back!) so next week it's going to be healthy salads, fish and fruit as opposed to Pizza, chocolate, cans of pepsi max and coffee which I've been living on for the last few weeks.

I'll start tomorrow methinks with a haircut too, as my Jesus hair is starting to get on my nerves now!

Hmm... I'm in the *fat but thankfully not fat bastard* range... 26

I've shed quite a bit over the past few years, sitll could afford to lose more around the stomach though (and the bit of a double chin that still remains).

Snu wrote:I am a firm believer that one of the best ways to loose weight is simply to eat less.

No no no no bloody no no no! The key is almost invariably eating appropriately and exercise. You're talking about a very unhealthy approach!