Metropol

Next time you are out, try stealing a large onion from the local takeaway, drop your pants and place the onion inside your underwear. Open your fly (if you have one), let the onion 'peep out' then shout loudly to all who are passing, 'This is a fertility symbol'.

Apparently it makes you feel good.

Any good onion stories from the past fortnight?

I would tell you, but they make me cry.

I skewered out my eyes with a Spork and replaced them with peeled uncooked baby onions, lightly salted.

I cut an onion today at school while making a massive hamburger..... thats my daily dose of onion talk.