Jokes...

James H · Thu 02 Nov, 2006 23.11

An Englishman, an American and an Oriental businessman are all playing golf on a nice driving range.

The Englishman is just about to tee off when he suddenly hears a vibration and then a little tinkle.
He takes something which looks like a pen out of his pocket and holds it up to his ear.
"I can't talk at the moment," he shouts, "I'm playing golf. I'll call you later".
He replaces the pen, saying, "Isn't technology amazing! The size of mobiles these days is fantastic."
The American is next to tee off, but before he does, he hears a similar vibration and tinkle.
He takes his hand and puts his thumb to his ear, and his little finger next to his mouth.
"I can't talk at the moment," he says, "I'm playing golf. I'll call you later".
He puts his hand back around the club, bragging, "Isn't technology amazing! I've had a microchip installed into my hand with a miniature speaker and microphone so I'll never have to use a phone again!"
It is next the turn of the Oriental, but suddenly, he ducks behind a bush.
The two other businessmen run after him, to find him squatted behind the bush with his pants down.
"What's wrong?" they both enquire.
The Oriental man replies, "oooh, I've got a fax coming through!"

Anonymous · Fri 03 Nov, 2006 09.38

old bull and young bull at the top of the hill
young bull see's a few young cow's at the bottom of the hill
young bull says to the old bull
come on! Lets run down and shag one of them cows!
old bull says to young bull
No! lets walk down and shag em all!!!

cdd · Fri 03 Nov, 2006 09.57

rourkey wrote:old bull and young bull at the top of the hill
young bull see's a few young cow's at the bottom of the hill
young bull says to the old bull
come on! Lets run down and shag one of them cows!
old bull says to young bull
No! lets walk down and shag em all!!!

That's weak to a whole new level.

Where are we getting these users from!

Pete · Fri 03 Nov, 2006 10.18

can we ban him please?

Not The Chef · Fri 03 Nov, 2006 11.42

Gavin Scott · Fri 03 Nov, 2006 12.22

Who are you trying to amuse with those?

Roy chubby Brown?

johnnyboy · Fri 03 Nov, 2006 12.46

There is a distinct Bernard Manningness to JM's jokes at the moment.

Methinks he is attention-seeking.

cdd · Fri 03 Nov, 2006 12.49

cdd wrote:
rourkey wrote:old bull and young bull at the top of the hill
young bull see's a few young cow's at the bottom of the hill
young bull says to the old bull
come on! Lets run down and shag one of them cows!
old bull says to young bull
No! lets walk down and shag em all!!!
That's weak to a whole new level.

Evidently I stand corrected.

I'm just impressed JM went through with his 48 hour ban. But can we ban him longer next time pleasies?

I'll post you a box of choccies for Christmas if you do Gav (your pick of a chocolate gift box from Ferrero Rocher or Black Magic)

Not The Chef · Fri 03 Nov, 2006 14.13

Sput · Fri 03 Nov, 2006 15.33

Perhaps you can follow that with a joke about how black people are different from white people!

cdd · Fri 03 Nov, 2006 16.31

In light of the pre-eminent case for banning JM again, I retract my offer of Xmas choccies.