The Official Xmas Joke Thread

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Sput
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Whoopsie! hehe!

My eyes were drawn away from it by the big *Sorry* on the sig.
Knight knight
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Nick Harvey
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PutneyMatt wrote:Anyone want to give it a third outing
I'd hate NOT to be the one to upset you, Putney Twat.

Have you heard that the Vietnamese aren't putting up any decorations this year; they're just going to string up some Glitter?
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PutneyMatt
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Joined: Sun 28 Aug, 2005 23.58

Nick Harvey wrote:
PutneyMatt wrote:Anyone want to give it a third outing
I'd hate NOT to be the one to upset you, Putney Twat.

Have you heard that the Vietnamese aren't putting up any decorations this year; they're just going to string up some Glitter?
Nick Harvey. Never an original thought in his head.
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Sput
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PutneyMatt wrote:
Nick Harvey wrote:
PutneyMatt wrote:Anyone want to give it a third outing
I'd hate NOT to be the one to upset you, Putney Twat.

Have you heard that the Vietnamese aren't putting up any decorations this year; they're just going to string up some Glitter?
Nick Harvey. Never an original thought in his head.
And clearly never a logical thought in your head as you invited people to DO that.
Knight knight
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PutneyMatt
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Sput wrote:
PutneyMatt wrote:
Nick Harvey wrote: I'd hate NOT to be the one to upset you, Putney Twat.

Have you heard that the Vietnamese aren't putting up any decorations this year; they're just going to string up some Glitter?
Nick Harvey. Never an original thought in his head.
And clearly never a logical thought in your head as you invited people to DO that.
Indeed I did. How would you like to jump of a cliff?
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Sput
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PutneyMatt wrote:Indeed I did. How would you like to jump of a cliff?
When you can tell me how one jumps of (sic) a cliff I might be interested. in the mean time I'd prefer it if you sod off.
Knight knight
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PutneyMatt
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Sput wrote: in the mean time I'd prefer it if you sod off.
mmm Witty response
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Matrix
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Location: Slightly to the left

PutneyMatt wrote: How would you like to jump of a cliff?
Hypocrite.
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Sput
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PutneyMatt wrote:
Sput wrote: in the mean time I'd prefer it if you sod off.
mmm Witty response
And THAT is where we use "pot and kettle"!
Knight knight
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Si-Co
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Joined: Thu 13 May, 2004 23.17
Location: Blaydon, Tyne and Wear

'Tis evidently the season of goodwill here at Metropol.

Peace, people.
Everyone hears what you say,
Friends listen to what you say,
Best friends listen to what you don't say.
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rts
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Joined: Fri 15 Aug, 2003 14.09

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.


"In honour of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "you must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. It represents a candle, he said. You may pass through the pearly gates, said Saint Peter.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells." Saint Peter said you may pass through the pearly gates.


The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's knickers. St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just how do those symbolize Christmas?"

The man replied... (Highlight)"They're Carols."
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