The School Report...

[rts]

Nothing makes me chuckle more, than some good quotes from school reports... Upper Sixth got theirs yesterday, and that includes me... Now I'm afraid I'm going to have to start off with a bit of gloating, but only because I rarely, well, never get the chance to do so when it comes to with my school reports...

Mr Adam's (aka Prince Charles) writes: An exceptionally personable and mature young man with well-developed social skills. Unfailingly polite and reliable, Rowan takes his responsibilities very seriously. In addition to providing much appreciated assistance to the form tutor of a junior form [Well it is Miss Mc Phillips - who wouldn't assist!], he has been involved in a variety of school activities and also finds time and energy to pursue political and other interests outside of school.

Miss Bradshaw never fails to be brutally honest: Rowan is a student who, in the past, has not always maximised hid chances of doing well in examinations. She does go on to say how fabulous I am though. What is very funny though, is how because staff wrote these reports at least a month ago, certain assumptions had to be made... Sadly, however, he had not organised himself to meet the deadline on the completed version [My English coursework]. I got it in, on schedule, with the rest of the class. A nice v-sign for Miss B

Mr Stephens ends off that Rowan may yet be surprised at the final grade he gets in the summer. You mean I can go lower than a D?

Mr Phillips starts off by saying Rowan has been to inconsistent this year to fulfill his potential. Enough of that.

Miss Logie-Campbell says how amazing I am, although he currently owes three essays. Must have slipped my mind?

Now my favorite quote from this years report has to be from Miss Sansom. Rowan has demonstrated that there is substance behind the charm this year.

Charm?

Mrs Turner calls me an enthusiastic and committed student. That's prozac for you

So come on, lets here some of your quotes from school reports...

[Katherine]

My Home Economics (Food) teacher at the end of Year 8: Katherine is not very interested in the subject

Too right - do I actually NEED to learn to cook stuff like spinach roulade when we have ready meals and microwaves?

[rts]

My Home Economics (Food) teacher at the end of Year 8: Katherine is not very interested in the subject

Too right - do I actually NEED to learn to cook stuff like spinach roulade when we have ready meals and microwaves?

My first home-ec lesson was cooking an egg in a microwave. It, like my report, was all downhill from there.

[Martin]

Managed to dig out some of my old reports:

As much as I'd like to introduce this as being for English or Maths, my conscience dictates
that I must point out it is infact for Home Economics:


Am I alone in thinking Geography teachers have all got neat handwriting and hate us all
for being a bit untidy?


The Biology department pushing the barriers of English once again, and note carefully
the part it says "strengths and areas for development"...


You can tell its an Art teacher before even reading it...

[stu]

My PE teacher simply wrote in year 10, "It is very difficult to make any comments on his progress."

I didn't bother turning up to any one of the PE lessons.

This is the best bit though,if I can show off what my tutor said of me "Stuart is one of the nicest members of the group ... very high personal standard of behaviour and relates extremely well with adults ... handles unpleasant peers with great skills too, never ceases to amaze me. Stuart is a very likable student. I admire his sophisticated social skills, in such a young person."

Would have posted Year 11's but I didn't hang round long enough

[cdd]

A gem from my APT report:

"I am surprised that Christopher has difficulty following instructions in Chemistry. None-the-less; without him this school would be a very different place!"

No prizes for spotting the gaping punctuation AND spelling mistake there. He also teaches Geography, and all geography teachers are bad at English; must be a law somewhere about it. At an exam board meeting, aparently you get an A* in your english essay if you use a semicolon in the first paragraph; must knock your grade down a couple of dozen if you use it incorrectly! I'll have you know I got 16 1s in my report, 8 2s and nothing worse than that (limit=5)!

[markyboi]

I always got bad school reports, most saying i was bright, but didn't make much of it. Didn't help that i hated school, oh well.

[Big Brother]

Hmmm, my Physics teacher always had a dig "Ian is a very motivated pupil who tries to acheive his best in all aspects of the course. In his recent assessment he scored 6/30, which is rather disappointing for Ian. If he wants acheive his Higher Physics he is going to need to study more. Extra work in class - at lunch and at home shoulb benefit him greatly"

Although in saying that I never did study for the assessment - nor did I do extra work. And every person in the class was told to do extra rofl.

My maths teacher always ended mine "Ian must attend class more often despite having done the course already" - Thank you Mrs Bruce lol. She always gave me a good cheery positive bit to begin with.

My guidance teacher always had a go "Ians continueing trend of lateness blah bla..... Ians number of absensces... blah blah blah..."

My art teacher, Miss Russell, "Ian's work is of a very high standard - he needs to make more of an effort to attend class rather than hiding in the common room. Ian also feels the need to hide during his art classes and I have had to go and find him in order for him to attend on many occassions."

My other art teacher never said anything bad rofl. I was always in his class. lol

Although credit where it's due to my Graph. Comm. teacher who wrote the same on every report for every pupil... if he remembered to write them. "(Name here) is doing very well and should pass at higher level" Ta Mr R.

[SteveL]

I don't tend to get bad exam comments in most subjects, English of course being the exception (as I don't try at all, I suppose). My teacher didn't go lightly on me after the mocks:

The bulk of this term's homework has been advance preperation of his examination novel, six chapters a week of Jane Austen's 'Pride and Prejudice'; Steve has frequently seemed under-prepared for lessons. Nonetheless he has occasionally volunteered a contribution in class on a text he has some difficulty with. He's been a bit better when he's moved from the back row to the front row, and I now suggest this a permanent move.

The examination was a disaster: he had an hour for each essay (in June he wil have 30 and 40 minutes respectively): in his literature essay he answered only one third of the question; in the 'unseen' he hadn't noticed a second page of the passage and had only 23 lines to show for an hour's work. He is floundering, I'm afraid.

[tillyoshea]

My PE teacher simply wrote in year 10, "It is very difficult to make any comments on his progress."

I didn't bother turning up to any one of the PE lessons.

My rough equivalent, as I also never went to lessons...



I only found this again yesterday when tidying, and it definitely made me chuckle.

And another classic quote...

[Cheese Head]

I always got bad school reports, most saying i was bright, but didn't make much of it. Didn't help that i hated school, oh well.

I get that from pretty much all my teachers. What am I suppose to do? Act interested?