Baffling local news stories

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And we have this.. ... ticle.html

We have trouble stopping them coming in, yet we won't let them leave.
Mental anxiety, Mental breakdowns, Menstrual cramps, Menopause... Did you ever notice how all our problems begin with Men?
Dr Lobster*
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i have posted this before... it's from Lynn News but it's so pleasant i thought you could probably do with reading it again over your marmite on toast.
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Location: Dundee ... 0399t0.asp
A PERTH woman is having her medication stolen by birds from the balcony of her Fair City home after a row with the local council left her without a fridge to keep it in.

Distraught Philomena Brymer (53), of Pomarium flats, has been told by medics she must keep her pills refrigerated but the only place cold enough is outside after a kitchen redesign, in her opinion, went wrong and has yet to be rectified.

Birds have taken to swooping on the drugs, thinking they are food, leaving Ms Brymer without the help necessary for her depression and other illnesses.

Her troubles began when the council came to refit her kitchen as part of an upgrade project.

She said contractors did not leave proper space for a fridge/ freezer, putting it against a window, so she had it removed.

She said, “It was a fire hazard because it would have blocked my exit route if I couldn’t get out my door so I had to throw it out.

“My medication and vitamins have to be kept at the correct temperature but now I don’t have a fridge, through no fault of my own.

“The only place I can keep it is on the balcony, because of the cold weather, but the birds are taking it away.

“The contractor said I have to talk to the council but the council have said it is the contractor’s fault, leaving me stuck in the middle and getting sicker—I’ve been to hospital three times.”

A council spokesman said efforts are being made to find Ms Brymer a new fridge but insisted the window obstruction would not have been a danger.

He added, “The tenant agreed the design of her kitchen with contractors ahead of the work.

“The tenant’s fridge freezer did slightly obscure a small gable-end window, but the main large window in the kitchen was totally unaffected.

“The fridge was nowhere near a doorway and did therefore not obstruct any fire escape door as claimed.

“For her own reasons the tenant then made the decision to throw away her fridge, presumably knowing she needed it to store her medication. Because of her difficulties we are now working to obtain a new fridge for the property.”
"He has to be larger than bacon"
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So I take it she hasn't heard of keeping them in a sinkful of cold water like they used to do with milk bottles back in the pre-CFC days?
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Gavin Scott
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Location: Edinburgh

Ah yes. The deadly magic of water.
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Location: Dundee

Let me list the selection of interesting points with this article

:arrow: she threw away the fridge, rather than moving it elsewhere. not that i'd ever suggest she's trying to get a new one
:arrow: since when do vitamins need to be kept in the fridge? also, in the picture that is in the printed paper, its clear one of the mystical drugs is pyraton. famous for needing to be kept cold
:arrow: when i feed birds, i often put the seed in child proof bottles which they easily get into. normally the blackbird pushes down on the lid whilst the robin twists the bottle. i find them empty every morning.

and yet dc thompson, useless twats, still deem this newsworthy.
"He has to be larger than bacon"
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I saw this in the local rag today. It could easily be read as a critique of ones arsonic skills, if rubbish = not very good.
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Gave me a chuckle, rubbish fire indeed, kids these days can't even build a decent fire...
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Location: Donaghadee ... ticle.html
A MUM of three is dis-custard after a hunt for the dessert sauce in the town proved fruitless.

Keen baker Jules Serkin, 43, of West Cliff, Whitstable, needed a tin of custard powder to top off her apple and blackcurrant crumble.

But she was left with a sour taste in her mouth after getting no joy in either Co-ops at Oxford Street and Canterbury Road, and in Somerfield, in the High Street.

Even a trek to Tankerton's Tesco Express - a corner shop version of its superstores - was wasted.

"I try to support my local businesses, but in the end I had to resort to going to one of the big supermarkets to get what I needed," said Jules, a holiday rental company director.

"I feel very sad that I can't seem to get basic stuff from my high street, and am driven to go online.

"Custard is a staple product on my shopping list and I cannot understand why it should be so hard to find.

"An assistant in Somerfield said they'd had other shoppers asking for tins of custard, but it hadn't been in stock since the shop was refurbished.

"And in the Co-ops I was just greeted with an empty shelf where it should be, and no idea when they might be getting it in.

"I am upset because it seems these shops cannot order a product that customers are demanding as it doesn't seem to fit in with what they are selling.

"I had to resort to buying sachets which cost only a few pence less than a tin, and don't go very far at all. If I buy a tin, it goes in my pantry and will last me quite a few crumbles.

"I'm making an apple and blackcurrant crumble and, as I am trying to eat healthily can control what I put into the custard, like skimmed milk.

"With the sachets, there are all sorts of ingredients and additives - and you just add water to make it.

"It's very convenient, but not as good as the real thing. Custard should be a lovely comfort, nice and thick."

Mrs Serkin finally managed to find a tin of own brand custard powder in a Co-op, a few days after her initial hunt, but not her beloved Bird's.

Spokesman for Somerfield Pete Williams said: "Somerfield in Whitstable High Street underwent a major investment last April to upgrade and improve the store for local customers.

"We pride ourselves on our customer service and ability to meet their needs.

"We are a bit perplexed about your reader's trouble in finding custard in the store. It offers a variety of custards including: tinned, fresh, cartons and in powdered form.

"Today (Monday March 23) it has both Somerfield own brand tinned custard and tinned custard made by Ambrosia. The store stocks Somerfield Instand Custard Mix - to which you simply add water.

"Regrettably the store does not have sufficient space to stock the larger tins of classic Bird's Custard Powder - to which you add milk and sugar to make your custard."

A Co-operative Group spokesman said: "We are sorry to hear a customer is unhappy with our custard range in Whitstable.

"Our smaller convenience store in Canterbury Road has only ever sold sachets of Bird's custard powder.

"The Oxford Street store did stock Bird's tinned custard until recently but the product was withdrawn following thorough analysis of product sales across our range.

"This store does however, sell The Co-operative's own brand of tinned custard powder and we would be pleased to offer this customer a free sample to try."

* Somerfield is to become Budgens from May 11 - but all 33 jobs are safe, said Mr Williams. It has been forced to sell to ensure competition as Somerfield is now owned by the Co-op, which has two stores nearby.
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Here's a particularly shitty opinion piece from the manchester evening news about the G20, in which our intrepid reporter clearly didn't have the stones to go to London this week and so pontificated about how ugly all the scenes were at the protests when he watched them on TV.

My 3 favourite bits...
I CANCELLED all appointments in London this week, even though it meant missing a chat with President Obama and President Sarkozy's beautiful wife.
Because a local blowhard would DEFINITELY have had a nice chat with people that matter.
My caution, though probably craven, was wisely judged. The capital was swarming with thousands of ruffianly malcontents, marching on the City's Square Mile in rage at the arrival of the world's leaders for the G20 conference.
Now, I don't much like protesters either, it's a shit way of trying to get your voice heard because it's always hijacked by the loudest person, but that's just taking the piss
I saw it on the telly and read about it in the next day's newspapers. No well-drilled battalions here: disorganised factions with disparate rages, but jammed together in hooligan unity by steely and determined blue cordons.
I have a feeling I know which papers he was reading...Ugh. What a nob. Maybe it's just my crazed idealism here but if you're going to shit all over what did (or more accurately didn't) happen somewhere, you should actually have seen it first hand rather than just look at the box that selects the most dramatic bits while you're sitting in your pants eating a partially defrosted Sara Lee (I didn't see that myself but if he can write that shite in a paper then I can write this shite here).
Knight knight
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