Baffling local news stories

tvmercia
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Joined: Sat 10 Jan, 2004 03.15
Location: Low Birk Hatt

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Alexia
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Joined: Sat 01 Oct, 2005 17.50

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marksi
Posts: 1892
Joined: Wed 07 Jan, 2004 05.38
Location: Donaghadee

This is only baffling in the sense that it appears to have been written by a person with wee sweetie mice for brains.

http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/ ... 02359.html
Scorching summer on way for Northern Ireland
By Sarah Rainey
Friday, 20 May 2011


Light up the barbecue and cancel that foreign holiday — Northern Ireland is in for a scorching summer.
Marvellous! Where does this forecast come from? The Met Office? A man with some wet seaweed?

No.
That’s according to the bookies, who have slashed the odds on 2011 going down in history as the hottest summer on record.
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marksi
Posts: 1892
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Location: Donaghadee

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From this week's Newtownards Chronicle: Win a Cake in the shape of Rory McIlroy's head.
Malpass93
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Joined: Thu 16 Oct, 2008 16.19
Location: Ealing

marksi wrote:Image

From this week's Newtownards Chronicle: Win a Cake in the shape of Rory McIlroy's head.
Looks more like Wossy.
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The New Malpass.
Chie
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Joined: Fri 31 Aug, 2007 05.03

My first thought was Barry Mannilow.
stu
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Joined: Fri 15 Aug, 2003 19.34
Location: Kings Oak

B. A. Robertson?
Alexia
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Luigi (Mario's brother)
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marksi
Posts: 1892
Joined: Wed 07 Jan, 2004 05.38
Location: Donaghadee

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-14080413
A 32-year-old man from Downpatrick has been charged with causing criminal damage to a flag containing an image of X Factor star Eoghan Quigg.

Andrew Watson from Church Grove is alleged to have committed the offence at the Crescent Link Retail Park in Londonderry.

When informed of the charge, District judge Barney McElholm asked: "Is that an offence?" A defence solicitor replied: "It is in Derry."

The case was adjourned until 22 July.
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Pete
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Joined: Fri 15 Aug, 2003 13.36
Location: Dundee

http://www.eveningtelegraph.co.uk/outpu ... tters.shtm
I wish newsreaders (on radio/TV) would stop reporting that it will be a “glorious” day if the sun comes out.

Its UV rays are harmful, plus I am grateful for cloudy days when at least I can breathe when hopefully there’s a breeze. Also I can see without dodging the overly-bright light whilst being microwaved.

The sun is the anarchist of the universe, the fateful scenario connected with this pest — kept going via nuclear fusion — being its link to the end of the world.

Millions of years from now its impetus will dissipate, i.e. it will swell to mammoth proportions then bake planet Earth to extinction.

So the sun is hardly your friend or beneficiary. — J. I. Matthew.
"He has to be larger than bacon"
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Sput
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Joined: Wed 20 Aug, 2003 19.57

http://www.midsussextimes.co.uk/news/lo ... _1_3565203
Published on Monday 27 February 2012 13:21
Early customers find Boots closed
Early shoppers at Boots in South Road, Haywards Heath, found the store closed this morning.

A sign on the door said: “Due to unforseen circumstances we do not have a pharmacist at present and so are unable to open this store.

“The store will open as soon as a locum pharmacist arrives, unfortunately we don’t yet know what time this will be.

“We apologise for any inconvenience caused and thank our customers for their patience.” The store later opened.
Knight knight
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