The Mum: "Hi Rowan nice to meet you. George, just quickly. I don't mind you masturbating in your socks, but could you rinse them out before they go in the wash please?" Just one of those things a mother should never say in front of her son's friends! On a related note, my mate once told m...

James Martin wrote:I had a posh one.

Had you bought a new pair of socks, James?

I had a lovely wank this morning.

Sin Bin.

bbcworld2003 wrote:I had a relationship with ......... no i will not continue!

James Martin's rape alarm?

all new Phil wrote:Well I fucking hate Franz Ferdinand more, so stick THAT in your pipe and smoke it.

From your avatar, I can tell you feel quite strongly about that!

Someone posted this on another forum on which I am a moderator, and I had to smile because it was so bloody apt!

You will need Flash enabled to view it.

http://albinoblacksheep.com/flash/posting.php

Next time you are out, try stealing a large onion from the local takeaway, drop your pants and place the onion inside your underwear. Open your fly (if you have one), let the onion 'peep out' then shout loudly to all who are passing, 'This is a fertility symbol'.

Apparently it makes you feel good.

Size 10 feet.

Leodensian.

Hilarious, Bail! Not heard it before either!