I'm thinking about it. I might quietly add an avatar one day. I'll know when it's been noticed when I hear the collective gasp of disappointment and horror.

The internet café roadshow is in the stages of planning. And what is it with people wanting my picture all of a sudden? I'm not even a remotely interesting character here. My picture would ruin the legend of ZelDAS.

See what I did there?

Maybe I should try a thread like this some time then, it seems to work quite nicely.

Please refrain from connecting me to this whole sordid sex sensation thread - especially with the tossing word. DAS has nothing to do with any of these erect things, fabergé eggs or the like, and no tossing has gone on. The views and smut expressed herein do not represent me. The digital camera can ...

Have we seen Ison since last night's post? What if he's topped himself? What will we do then?

Listen matey. Here's good sound advice coming from Uncle Daniel. You say people telling you to look to the future are not helping. Well it should do - you will be going to university, a place full of hundreds of people like you. You will meet more people in the first week than you've met in your lif...

Well according to D[A]ST (my standard time) we have four distinct zonal ranges, presented thus: Morning: 03.30 until 12.00 Afternoon: 12.00 until 17.00 (17.30 in summertime) Evening: 17.00/17.30 until 21.00 Night: 20.00 until 03.30 Un-necesssssarilly complicated maybe, but I follow it to the second....

Completely and utterly... true.

There isn't a 100% success rate of course, but try it - it works.

I've just realised I've done my old snazzy trick of replacing key words in my post with irrelevant, random ones to render my credibility non existant.

Please read: "It was a bad MOVE killing Wellie off..."

I think it was a bad name killing Wellie off. His posts were a forum feature (like a water feature, if you will) to look out for. They had a sense of goodness about them. Now they're just ordinary, un-unusual and normal.